Like so many other Hillary supporters, I have been picking up the pieces of an invested, passionate, outraged heart. That process has been challenging and emotional, but it has taught me a few valuable lessons.

1. Simmering in outrage doesn’t make me feel any better. Asking questions does.

Struggling to understand the Americans who felt voiceless in government, to “get” where they were coming from hasn’t been exasperating; it’s been therapeutic. Scared, frustrated people thirsty for change saw Trump as their champion. Hope drove many Trump supporters to the polling booths, not hatred or malice.

2. Unpacking my emotions helps. Being vulnerable about what I find helps even more.

I am angry, outraged, shocked. But as I’ve processed that anger, I’ve realized that underlying it is desperation, a sense of hopelessness. Expressing that deep-rooted sadness is more honest than solely expressing the anger, and it helps us unite. It helps Trump supporters understand this is more than a case of “sore loser syndrome;” this is genuine grief.

3. Working towards unity and understanding does not mean backing down.

Every day I work to re-focus on what I can control. Muslims, immigrants, people of color, people with disabilities, LGBTQ+ and beyond... every minority group must unify; they must continue to cry out. This war against prejudice has not ended. It’s just begun. And every single outraged voice is needed if Trump continues to use the hateful rhetoric of his campaign.

So yes, I will bemoan my country's decision, but I will also roll up my sleeves. As I have processed my grief, I have chosen to reframe this Donald Trump presidency as a challenge: a challenge to be more loving and to overcome political differences, but also to battle on. I implore everyone grieving this election to see it the same way.