Don’t get me wrong; I totally understand why people are perpetuating the idea that “every person is beautiful no matter what.” It makes them feel good giving a compliment and it makes the person receiving it feel good, right? But beneath this well intended movement there lies a fatal flaw: the statement itself is perpetuating the importance of beauty by emphasizing it is such an important characteristic that everyone has to have it.
Unfortunately, we live in a world where beauty trumps all other attributes when you are a woman. How “attractive” you are affects every aspect of your life from the job you have to the person you marry. I would even go so far as to say that however “beautiful” you feel in the morning affects your whole mindset. Oftentimes I even find myself falling into this trap of looking in the mirror when I wake up and determining that how I look has a direct correlation to how my day is going to turn out. Having a great hair day? You’re more likely to be in a good mood and your day is off to a great start. Wake up with bags under your eyes and multiple pimples? Then you’ve probably already decided that you “look disgusting” and that today “just isn’t your day.” It is so sad that we place so much value on our looks and seamlessly forget about all of our other characteristics in the meantime. This is a direct reflection of how much weight society places on beauty.
I know people have good intentions when they tell someone they are beautiful. What people who promote “everyone is beautiful” campaigns are really trying to convey is that everyone has value, everyone has positive attributes, and everyone deserves to be loved. Beauty has become so intertwined with what it means to be an ideal woman that it is the only characteristic that people insist applies to everyone: but why is this? Have you ever seen an “everyone is athletic,” “everyone is intelligent”, or “everyone has a great sense of humor,” campaign? Of course you haven’t: because people realize that not everyone possesses these values and that is okay. But my question is – why doesn’t this type of thinking apply to the word beautiful?
Why is it not okay to realize that although not every woman is beautiful, every single one has value? I am not saying that not everyone deserves to have self-confidence and think highly of their appearance—but why should “beautiful” be the universal compliment in regards to building girls’ self esteem?
It is so awesome to see girls empowering each other, but I truly believe promoting the idea that everyone is beautiful is the wrong way to go about it. Although not everyone can be beautiful everyone: has value, talents, passions, and dreams. The more we promote the idea that beauty is so important it must apply to everyone, the stronger this “culture of beauty” becomes. I challenge you to instead of handing out “beautiful” as a compliment, strive to actually make it personal by letting the person know a specific characteristic or value you truly admire them for.
Because I am not here to be beautiful,
I am here to change the world.
