Please, Don't Call Me Pretty

Please, Don't Call Me Pretty

Because I'm so much more than that.
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Of all the things there are to be called in this world, "pretty" seems to be the go-to compliment towards women. Almost nobody understands why I hate that word. I don't want to be called pretty because there's so much more that. I'm smart and funny and talented. I want to be told that someone likes the way I think or that I'm good at telling stories. I don't want a man thinking I'm cute before he knows what makes me laugh and I don't want to be called beautiful before I'm able to have an intellectually stimulating discussion. There's such a pressure and desire for young women to want to be beautiful that we're forgetting to want to be anything else.

For some reason, so many girls simply aspire to be beautiful. From an early age, we're taught to play dress up and play with makeup and other products deemed "feminine." Girls grow up wanting to be princesses, but settle for second best as a trophy wife. If we don't feel beautiful, we feel worthless, because beauty and excellence go hand-in-hand. We're stuck fighting this unrealistic beauty standard each and every day set by the world around us. Beautiful is what we're striving to be. Not interesting, or charming or nice, just beautiful - that's all. And what is beauty going to get us, exactly? Someone maybe mildly interesting to find us attractive for a little while? A drink or two at a dive bar? While there are so many things we can be doing with our skills and knowledge, we're worried about the way we look. We're not going to cure cancer if we're too worried about flyaway hairs.

You see, society has women constantly wanting validation that they're beautiful. So much so, that we only compliment her appearance, not her quirky sense of humor or take charge attitude. And I've heard far too many times the phrase, "ugly but nice," as if they're mutually exclusive. As if to be a decent person you have to look good as well. Often times, if we find a person unattractive, we're actually less inclined to socialize with them, as if only pretty people are worth our time. Is it because we just don't notice them, or because we subconsciously only want to surround ourselves with "pretty people?" Instead of talking about how great of a leader a woman is, we're talking about her outfit (cough, cough, the 2016 presidential election). Everyday Feminism writer, Erin Tatum, reminds us, "Every women's identity extends so far beyond the superficial, and they deserve for others to start recognizing that." Basically, beauty is only skin deep, so dig a little deeper, because women are people with thoughts, feelings and opinions.

Rupi Kaur, writer of milk and honey summed it up in just a few lines...

And she's absolutely right. As a woman, you are so much more than that. Women are the most exquisitely strong creatures on this planet, yet for some reason, we're reduced to "pretty," "beautiful," "hot," and other adjectives to describe our physical attributes. SO many people will try to say "beauty is only skin deep," but Societal values have put such a pressure on us to look a certain way that none of us are really focusing on what we should be - ourselves, who we actually are; not what we see in the mirror.

Beauty is completely irrelevant; compliment someone's confidence, enthusiasm, or work ethic. Not only is it demeaning, but beauty is a predictable compliment as well. This isn't to say to never accept a compliment on your appearance or tell someone else they look nice, but we need to keep in mind that our looks shouldn't be so prevalent in our society because in all honesty, they really aren't all that important in comparison to who we are as individuals. Because we are individuals, not just a pretty face.

Cover Image Credit: Project Inspired

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I Blame My Dad For My High Expectations

Dad, it's all your fault.
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I always tell my dad that no matter who I date, he's always my number one guy. Sometimes I say it as more of a routine thing. However, the meaning behind it is all too real. For as long as I can remember my dad has been my one true love, and it's going to be hard to find someone who can top him.

My dad loves me when I am difficult. He knows how to keep the perfect distance on the days when I'm in a mood, how to hold me on the days that are tough, and how to stand by me on the days that are good.

He listens to me rant for hours over people, my days at school, or the episode of 'Grey's Anatomy' I watched that night and never once loses interest.

He picks on me about my hair, outfit, shoes, and everything else after spending hours to get ready only to end by telling me, “You look good." And I know he means it.

He holds the door for me, carries my bags for me, and always buys my food. He goes out of his way to make me smile when he sees that I'm upset. He calls me randomly during the day to see how I'm doing and how my day is going and drops everything to answer the phone when I call.

When it comes to other people, my dad has a heart of gold. He will do anything for anyone, even his worst enemy. He will smile at strangers and compliment people he barely knows. He will strike up a conversation with anyone, even if it means going way out of his way, and he will always put himself last.

My dad also knows when to give tough love. He knows how to make me respect him without having to ask for it or enforce it. He knows how to make me want to be a better person just to make him proud. He has molded me into who I am today without ever pushing me too hard. He knew the exact times I needed to be reminded who I was.

Dad, you have my respect, trust, but most of all my heart. You have impacted my life most of all, and for that, I can never repay you. Without you, I wouldn't know what I to look for when I finally begin to search for who I want to spend the rest of my life with, but it might take some time to find someone who measures up to you.

To my future husband, I'm sorry. You have some huge shoes to fill, and most of all, I hope you can cook.

Cover Image Credit: Logan Photography

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I Bought My First 'Big Girl' Purse And, Damn, I Feel Like A Badass

If you see me around with my Kate Spade purse feeling like a badass, mind ya business.

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To say that I am a big believer in the phrase, "treat yo self" is a complete understatement and anyone who knows me knows just how serious I encourage it to everyone.

Over spring break, I decided to take some of my advice and made two big investments.

The first one was my Canon DSLR. But we all knew that one was coming because I had been saving up my paychecks for months since last year and was ready to invest in something that would ultimately help me perfect a skill I had been wanting to learn for a while.

The other investment was a Kate Spade purse that even caught me off guard because I didn't exactly expect myself to want a purse. But you know that feeling of not knowing you needed something until you saw it? Well, that was me and from the moment I saw it, I knew there was no going back. So, I went into the store and dropped the money on the purse and just didn't look back at the impulsive decision I had just made, which was actually going against my New Year's resolution of being smarter with my money.

But you know what, treat yo self.

And if you expected me to feel bad about my purse, surprise! I don't feel bad one bit.

When I tell you I feel good about my purse and about myself with my purse, I am being so freaking honest. Now, I can't even picture myself without my purse. It might sound stupid, but it actually makes every outfit look better and makes me feel like a bad bitch.

Like the Carrie Bradshaw, the "Sex and the City" fashion queen, once said, "Balls are to men what purses are to women. It's just a little bag, but we feel naked in public without it."

So, if you see me around with my Kate Spade purse feeling like a badass, mind ya business.

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