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10 Ways To Pretend Like You Got Your Sh*t Together

"Pretending like you have your sht together is the best way to have your sht together until you actually do.”

Kate Bewley

Sep 13, 2016

University of Florida

10 Ways To Pretend Like You Got Your Sh*t Together

Betches The Shop

“And even if you don’t have material possessions, pretending like you have your sh*t together is the best way to have your sh*t together until you actually do.” – The Betches

1. Talk about how much you love yoga

“I do yoga. It relieves my stress and anxiety.” - People will literally think you’re an evolved species of human.

2. Leggings. Are. Everything.

Number one lazy girl rule: When in doubt – leggings. They are basically the greatest invention of all time and you will absolutely never regret wearing them.

3. The messy bun – embrace it, love it.

The messier, the better. Love the messy bun and work it.

4. Starbucks

Not basic if you order a black coffee or single expresso - except that it tastes like dog sh*t. Just order your pumpkin spice latte like a basic girl and keep rockin’ your messy bun.

5. Read books in public places – then Instagram it

Since no one you know will actually see you reading.

6. Use a planner

Extra points if you have a brand name planner. You might actually have your sh*t together. Or, you’re just trying to stunt on the peasants with the target brand planners. Either way, you’re giving off the impression that you care about things. #adulting

7. Iron your damn shirt

You look like a piece of sh*t that threw up on another piece of sh*t when your shirt is wrinkled. Just iron your shirt before your boss sends you home for looking like sh*t.

8. Silently nod when someone talks to you about the news

Trump. Hillary. *nod* Now you can talk about the cute puppy video you saw on Facebook this morning.

9. Snapchat yourself in workout clothes

A fierce selfie in gym clothes with the caption of a muscle arm emoji will definitely make people think you’re fit and healthy. So, even if you never set foot in a gym, you can fool people into thinking that you take spinning classes and like cardio.

10. Bad B*tch Alert

Hold your head up high, save your smiles for those who deserve them and let the world know that you’re the HBIC. Attitude is everything when you're faking it.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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25 Beatles Lyrics: Your Go-To Guide for Every Situation

The Best Lines from the Fab Four

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Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

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Recommended for you

10 Ways To Pretend Like You Got Your Sh*t Together

"Pretending like you have your sh*t together is the best way to have your sh*t together until you actually do.”

1. Talk about how much you love yoga

2. Leggings. Are. Everything.

3. The messy bun – embrace it, love it.

4. Starbucks

5. Read books in public places – then Instagram it

6. Use a planner

7. Iron your damn shirt

8. Silently nod when someone talks to you about the news

9. Snapchat yourself in workout clothes

10. Bad B*tch Alert

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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