Going away to college is hard! I was more than ready to graduate from high school after having been on the same school campus for more than 13 years. I knew it was time to have my own identity and create new experiences away from my family and friends. I, however, underestimated how hard it would be to leave everyone behind.
I am an identical twin, and leaving her was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. We shared a room, friends, a schedule, and even a car. She has been my best friend and recurring sleepover buddy since before I was even born. Leaving my only home and my family was so hard, especially when I was six hours away in the middle of nowhere. I learned a lot about myself when I went away to college. I was finally able to say “I’m Emily” without clarifying that “I’m not Natalie.” I soon came to terms with being by myself, but it took me a long time to figure out how to keep healthy relationships when those relationships were long distance. I either called my friends too much—as in multiple times a day—or I didn’t call them at all.
As previously stated in a different article, I transferred to Trinity after my freshman year at another university. My best friends at this former school legitimately saved my life as I battled with anxiety and depression from being so far away from certain people and certain places. I cut out some of my best friends from high school and beyond because I was so anxious that I couldn’t pick up the phone to call or text. I burned more bridges than I can count because I was so unhappy with myself and my surroundings and felt helpless at fixing them. By the end of my freshman year, I knew I was leaving to Trinity, and my spirits lifted. I was able to reach out and mend my relationships with the people from home that had known me the longest.
When I got to Trinity, I was happier than I had been in a very long time. People I had met through frequent visits to Trin reached out to me and have remained some of my best friends since I got here. I was able to keep my relationships from high school afloat, but regressed somewhat because I was not giving my friends from my old college the respect they deserved. Again, it took me another year to find comfort and properly reach out to them. My friends proved just how amazing they are and reminded me how lucky I was because I was welcomed back with open arms and even went to visit this fall.
It has taken me a lot of soul-searching to figure out who I was without a twin, my Wild Ones (from high school), a boyfriend, and without the “ladies of East + Christy” (from my first college). I have learned that the simplest acts of reaching out can mean the world to your friends. A true friend will support you at a distance or from right next to you. Sending a Snapchat or making the occasional phone call or text can turn your whole day around. Having my best and oldest friends reach out to me during my highs and lows reminds me how blessed I am to have these people in my life.
I have made many friends since high school and my freshman year; I was able to use my lessons from the past to help me stay in touch with them over breaks and summers. I would not be who I am without the core group of friends and family I have had in high school and both colleges. It is so important to foster these relationships. Many of my best friends have gone abroad and I have finally learned to schedule Skype sessions with them. Other friends have gone out of their way to write me letters or send me packages. I know I will never be able to repay the kindness of my friends and family, and their patience, but I will always remember what they have taught me.
Take it from me: as hard as keeping long distance friendships can be, you will never regret putting yourself out there and staying connected. These people have come into your life for a reason and it is your duty to be just as good a friend as they are. Life can hand you lemons but the most important people around you will help you turn those lemons into lemonade or limoncello.
