"Look both ways before crossing the street!"

"Eat all of the vegetables on your plate!"

"Never get into a car with a stranger!"

Whether we listened to it or not, we have each grown up in homes of instruction and direction. Although it may not look the same in every household, each of us can most likely agree on the reasoning behind the instruction: our well-being. Our parents, guardians, grandparents, and even older siblings played the role of caretakers in our childhoods, teaching us the difference between right and wrong, good and bad, or safe and dangerous; to differentiate between these ideas is important not only when we are little but also when we go into middle school, high school, college, and what I like to call "the real world".

The adults in our lives guided us because they cared for us; they knew what was good or bad for us better than we did. Hopefully, no parent would think, "Four-year-old Joey knows the difference between safe and dangerous, so I probably do not need to tell him that the stove is REALLY hot and that he should not put his hand on it." No, you definitely should tell Joey because his curious mind is on what will satisfy him while you, the parent, are thinking of the bigger picture and how touching the stove will affect Joey in the long run.

Why is it when we reach college age that we assume we no longer need instruction or discipline? We tell ourselves that we can be the makers of our own paths and that we do not need someone else in our lives telling us what we should and should not do. Granted, your parent should probably not be advising you on whether or not to touch a hot stove at this point in life. On a more serious note, if you are in a situation where someone is controlling your every move like a parent with a toddler, leave. That is an unhealthy and toxic relationship, and I am by no means endorsing that.

The type of instruction and direction I am referring to is allowing other people to speak truths into your life.

"But wait, can't I think for myself? Shouldn't I trust myself enough to make my own decisions without having to rely on the people around me?"

Yes, it is vital that we learn how to make decisions on our own especially as we grow into our adult roles, but even kings seek counsel. This is a biblical principle:

"Without wise leadership, a nation falls; there is safety in having many advisers." (Proverbs 11:14)

I go to my parents often to ask questions or seek advice on school, friendships, and my relationship with Jesus. It is important, though, to find other people in your life who can play the role of advisor without having to also play the role of parent. I have several people both at GCU and at home who have become my "accountability partners" - friends who are willing to keep their eyes on me for my mental and spiritual well-being. They know that I struggle with reading my Bible regularly and waking up on time for class, and they are both my cheerleaders as well as my straight arrows.

The key for successful accountability (trust me, it is not an easy accomplishment) is that you are inviting the advisors to be a closer part of your life. You have to be open for them to speak wisdom into whatever situations you are facing, but you must also be confident enough to confront someone if he or she is overstepping the boundaries of the relationship and is abusing the role of accountability partner.

When we neglect spiritual accountability in our lives, we are more easily pulled into areas of sin or darkness. We may think that we know best, but we can be blinded by what is directly in front of us. A child sees that her ball has rolled across the street and wants to retrieve it, so she moves toward her goal. A parent, however, sees the ball, the child, and the car heading towards both of them, so he runs to grab the child to protect her. The same goes for our present situations; we may not always see the big picture, but the people we allow to watch life with us are looking specifically for the big picture.

A true accountability partner is not there to condemn you but rather to walk alongside you in your victories and your trials. These friends desire for you to grow in your walk with Jesus, and that is their ultimate goal as they walk with you. Allow people that you trust to speak wisdom into your heart; though it may not always be easy to hear, it can be a healing experience.