My last article ended with the part of my story that was Pre-Christian. I was a jerk who did not care about anyone. My mom was married to an abusive alcoholic, and my dad was busting his butt to make ends meet, but God was a foreign concept.

When I last left off, I was a 10-year-old kid, and at ten my life changed drastically. My mom was able to leave her alcoholic husband. Which was a blessing. No longer were we slaves to his alcohol-fueled rages, and she no longer had to worry about being abused. We were free. We were also broke, so that was an issue.

We had no place to stay, so we stayed with a friend of my mom's for a couple of months until she moved in with my current step-dad. The shift between step-dads was substantial, to say the least. We went from a man who couldn't stay sober to save his life, to a man who could provide and care for us. My current stepdad has done his job in providing for us.

My dad's house also changed drastically. He met a phenomenal woman, who stepped in and raised us both. In a male only household, there are things that are reinforced, and things that are casually left behind. Football, specifically the Steelers, was a commonality. Clean bathrooms, on the other hand, were not.

But I would be doing her a serious disservice if I only mentioned the physical benefits of having her in the house. She made us both better people. She introduced Jesus to us in a way that was so beautiful and astounding, neither one of us could refuse. She didn't sugarcoat the Gospel, in fact, she reinforced the truth of sin in the Gospel.

But she showed us both grace. As we fought against her influence and, ultimately the influence of the Holy Spirit, she continued to pursue us with grace and truth.

Christ saved me when I was ten years old. A simple version of Pascal's Wager and a realization of how terrible my sin was is what made me realize my need for a savior. Pascal's Wager, for those who don't know Christianese, is this: If the Gospel is NOT true, and I live with a defiance of God, I am not damned to hell because it is not true. BUT if the Gospel IS true and I live in defiance of God, where does that leave me?

And the answer would be, I would be damned to hell.

The power of the cross could save me from hell, and nothing else could. So I clung to the cross.

So here I am, as a 10-year-old kid but a "newborn" believer. My family and my life were drastically changed, not only because I was a new believer, but also because my family tripled in size virtually overnight. I was an only child who now had four siblings and two extra parents, so that was disorienting.

Through all the turmoil, however, the trials of my life shifted. I no longer had to deal with a drunk stepfather or having to know my mom was being abusive, but the evils I now had to deal with were more sinister because they were silent, and they were self-imposed.

As puberty took its hold, so did pornography. I turned my back on Jesus, and though I felt conviction from my actions, I still chose to continue with pornography. So from age 11-12 until about 16, I fought a battle with porn. I stuck my head in the sand and convinced myself that it wasn't affecting me or my walk with Jesus, but I was dead wrong.

I heard a sermon in passing about our sin being much less enticing if we view Christ on the cross in our place. I also knew that viewing porn would destroy any intimacy I would have with my future wife. So, through the power of Jesus, I quit looking at porn. I began the long process of healing and confessing that sin.

I want to clarify, I am not trying to celebrate my failures, I am trying to magnify the work of Christ in my life. I could not have lay aside my struggle with lust without Jesus.

I want to encourage anybody struggling with a porn addiction to quit "trying harder" to quit and give your problems to Jesus. That's the second part of my story. Next week, I'll go from 16 until now, which is probably the most powerful part, so stay tuned.

As always, a big shoutout to Shelbi Raines Photography for providing these awesome photos. Check out Shelbi's website for more information on how to book sessions. https://shelbirainesphoto.wordpress.com/

Y'all be good.