Eating is naturally a social activity, a way to relate with fellow humans through the universal love and need of food. Food brings people together like no other. However, my experiences in college, thus far, have opened my eyes to the element of self-discovery associated with eating alone as well as the immense collegiate, social stigma behind eating meals alone. Though we grow up eating almost every meal with family or friends, eating by oneself is not "bad." Caught in the misconception that every meal is to be eaten with friends, or else risk being labelled as a social outcast, I struggled to accept the fact that some meals would have to be eaten all by my lonesome. And, yet, it turned out to be not such a bad thing.
As my fellow first year college students can probably understand, finding someone to eat dinner with every night became one of the leading causes of my first semester anxiety and stress. Walking into the dining hall nervously searching for a potential dining buddy is a real life nightmare -- racing heartbeat and watering eyes included. While others became attached to their roommates and floormates, I grew frustrated with feeling as if I was the only one struggling every night to find someone to sit with. And while I feasted on Cheerios and Easy Mac in my room, I soon realized I couldn't be the only person in this position. I realized I was looking at my situation entirely wrong.
At first, the idea of eating alone was daunting. Especially, when I knew I'd be surrounded by groups of people chowing down and commiserating over heaping plates of sub par dining hall food while I sat at a small four-person table with my head bent over my phone in an effort to dodge any pitiful looks from my peers. There I'd sit, shoving food into my mouth as fast as humanly possible without choking. To be honest, I probably deserved those glances because I did look ridiculous in trying to appear as if I didn't care. I was ensnared in the social stigma's web, stuck in the mindset of how others thought of me rather than how I felt about myself. Who cared if I was eating dinner alone? It was only a concern because I made it into one.
My friend pointed this out to me, saying, "Gill, eating alone is an act of self love," and this became my mantra. Having the self assurance to eat alone and be proud of it is such a testament to a person's self-comfort and courage. It is all about perception, mainly how you perceive yourself rather than how others perceive you. With the stress of classes and clubs and service and social events, it's exhausting to have to be on all the time and we all deserve time to recharge. Why not combine the physical recharging of eating with the mental recharging of solitude? I cherish the hour or so when I don't have to worry about coming off as weird or saying the wrong things to people I just met -- all I have to deal with is whether I want fries or not with my wrap, which is a decision I can handle on my own (the answer is yes, always yes).
Find some people who you like to talk to and don't be afraid to ask them to grab a bite, but also don't feel like you have to. College is about putting yourself out there, meeting new people and making life long friends. Just because you live in close proximity to thousands of cool people doesn't mean you need to be in contact with them 24/7.
So, what I charge is this: take some time to get to know yourself. Enjoy your pizza and fries in solitude and get to know you. Let's be real, how can you become friends with someone new if you aren't friends with yourself first?
