I had sinus surgery and a tonsillectomy two and a half weeks ago, and today was my first day outside. And I mean outside my house. I've been in bed for almost three weeks, but I was finally feeling good enough to step outside, so I brought my lunch outside to the back deck. You see, for the last 16 days, I have been in bed watching every show you could think of: "The Mindy Project," "New Girl," "Scandal," "Shameless," "KUWTK," "Sex and the City," "Bloodline," "Parks and Rec," "The Office," "The Get Down"... honestly, the list goes on. That is not my point.
This was the first surgery I have ever had; though the doctors assured me I was going to be totally fine, I am a singer. The thought of someone touching my nose and doing anything in my throat was terrifying. And when I say I am a singer, I mean that singing is like breathing to me. It is my greatest joy and a talent I believe God gave me, so I can give back and bless others. I was terrified.
The day of the surgery I had a peace that was unmistakably God's work. And thankfully the surgery went incredibly well.
So here I am! Almost 3 weeks from my least favorite day of my life, and as I was sitting on my back deck, it was completely silent. Other than the wind through the trees and the faint sound of chimes, it was the first time in weeks I had been alone with my thoughts. It was scary for me to think about how much pain I was in, or how much I had missed while I was in bed.
So many thoughts came to me while I was recovering: “Why am I not living in NYC or Nashville, or LA, like all of my friends? Why do I have this setback? I wonder what so-and-so is doing right now. I hope my friends haven't forgotten about me.”
Instead of entertaining these thoughts, I kept distracted with the TV on and my phone in my hand. Today in the quiet I was given incredible peace. I saw two birds flying in the air, and it brought me back to one of my all-time favorite Bible verses,
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?" Matthew 6:25-27
I was reminded again that God has me. He has me in the palm of his hand, to use the lyrics of my dad’s favorite song. He has a plan for me. And he is going to watch over and provide for me.If you ever need a reminder of that, watch the birds.
