The Post-Election Escape From Society And Retreat Into Isolation Plan
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The Post-Election Escape From Society And Retreat Into Isolation Plan

Your guide to disengaging from society completely

The Post-Election Escape From Society And Retreat Into Isolation Plan

We've all said some things we regret this season. We've all regressed, thrown tantrums and shared some offensive memes. We've managed to find solace in conflict and put our own ethics up for speculation. From "Bernie or Bust" to "#NeverTrumpOrHill," we've seen one of the most emotionally exhausting elections in history, especially proliferated by the interaction of social media.

A recent American Psychological Association survey published results that describe the burden of this election season:

"Facing one of the most adversarial contests in recent history and daily coverage of the presidential election that dominates every form of mass media, 52 percent of American adults report that the 2016 election is a very or somewhat significant source of stress."

Stress takes a significant toll on the body's central nervous system. Stress in its communal form has the ability to transform environments into more hostile spaces. It makes a severe impact.

So, of course, the post-election season indicates an emergency need for self-care through rejecting the material world entirely.

1. Hydrate

There is no greater cure for the effects of physiological stress than to stay stable in respect to volumetrics and hemodynamics. A body in recovery, especially after the energy wasted on a Facebook argument, is in need of a strong homeostatic response to return to baseline.

2. Order food online, in bulk, obviously

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A powerful tool related to internet spending is the ability to purchase foods in mass quantities. Buying in bulk from the comfort of one's own hiding spot increases the duration of time one may spend in isolation. I'd also imagine that grocery stores after the election will be filled with tabloids and aggressive shoppers, two of my least favorite things.

3. Find someone (with similar political views) to vent with

As much as I like to advocate for being alone while our society has assumed public-therapy, humans are naturally social creatures. If you can find one person to rant with, for a maximum of one hour, you will have satisfied your need for empathy. After this session, you may continue to retreat

4. Cancel Thanksgiving

As much as I'm for family bonding, I'm not for angry political conversations retracting from enjoying my mashed potatoes. It's not right. Thus, it is acceptable to answer to this year's Thanksgiving invitations with "What's Thanksgiving? I've never heard of it," "No, it's been cancelled this year," and/or, "I'm sorry, I've been diagnosed with the black plague".

5. Cry intermittently

Even if you have to schedule a cry, allow yourself to weep for at least a total of 15 minutes within a 24-hour period. Let it all out, it's fine.

6. Buy a sunlamp

If you want your isolation-adventure to last through the depths of the winter, make sure you aren't becoming susceptible to seasonal mood changes. You'll be able to enhance your vitamin D intake without needing to leave your room at all.

7. Break all of your electronics and pretend that social media doesn't exist

Please, log off of Facebook. Log off of everything. Just avoid it all. Pretend it's not real. Don't Facebook stalk supporters of the opposing party. Don't look at the "Dank Meme" pages.

8. Nap during the prime social hours of a 24-hour period

This is a technique I've perfected since working the overnight shift. Find a time when people generally want to hang out with you, and then choose to sleep instead. If your friends want to do coffee or tea dates, take a nap between 11 a.m. and 3 p.m. If your friends like to do dinner dates, nap between 4 p.m. and 7 p.m. If your friends enjoy going out downtown, go to sleep at 7 p.m. It's all a social-circadian science.

9. Grow some herbs

Homeopathic therapies often encourage use of herbal medicines and non-pharmacological coping skills. If you're taking medication, please keep taking it. If you want to enhance therapeutic levels, grow some basil or mint. You can season your bulk foods, discover herbal remedies, and improve your overall health.

10. Avoid bars like the plague

Large hoards of unstable, intoxicated dudes are already on my list of "Top Ten Things I Enjoy The Least About Society". Now, imagine those hoards, but with more alcohol and more opinions? Like, loud opinions that no one can follow? Yeah, no one needs that. You can expose yourself to your own loud, nonsensical opinions within your own solitude.

The world probably isn't going to end. The country will sustain just fine. But, I standby the need to disengage from time to time and reflect on the bliss of being with ourselves and figuring out whatever the hell it is we need, especially after this whirlwind of a wild election.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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