Love isn’t always communicated in ways we understand or can respond to. Being able to clearly express why someone is important to you is an important skill to have in any relationship.
A positive affirmation states a circumstance or condition you would like to affirm or attract into your own life. Repeating affirmations make your subconscious mind work towards creating and solidifying these statements in reality; these are statements that everyone needs to hear from the people they love.
Contrary to popular belief, words of affirmation are not meant to be compliments. Affirmations are better received when they express the validation of a person’s existence or explain why a person is vital to your own life. Being able to express your genuine gratitude for another person helps build trust and motivation towards stronger relationships. Our affirmations can be given as the recognition of a person’s skills, personality, or actions. Sadly, more often than not, we forget how powerful a few kind words can be.
We tend to focus on the negative not because we don't desire to share positive affirmations with our friends, colleagues or lovers, but because it can feel awkward or nervous to say. By default, we find it easier to see what isn’t working, what’s least effective or avoid these interactions all together.
It is easy to assume that the people you care about already know how much you appreciate them. Living in this mentality, we risk falling into the trap of never expressing the meaningfulness and value a loved one adds to our lives. It shouldn't have to be that way!
For me, I feel safest and happiest when I hear how my friends or boyfriend think and feel about me. Words like “I love you” or "I love spending time with you" warm my heart more than anything! Hearing why these affirmations are significant – like “I love spending time with you because you make me feel important” or “[blank quality] is one of my favorite things about you because it makes me feel happy” – send me straight to the moon! The more specific an affirmation is, the more likely it will leave a positive lasting impact for the both of you.
Conversely, rudeness, insults, and even a brusque tone deeply injure those who are sensitive and responsive to what others say and think of them. Words have the ability to do a lot of harm; for those whose love language is words of affirmation, the poor choice of words and tone can manifest into deep emotional wounds. It only takes one small negative comment to kill an entire dream.
When people receive specific and evidence-based affirmation, it makes them feel valued. If you’re someone who affirms others, people will want to be around you because you make them feel important.
Simple communication is key, and yes, we all screw up sometimes. But instead of telling your significant other they messed up, try telling them you support them no matter what because you value your relationship with them. Let your friends verbally know how much you appreciate them. Even if you think they know how much you care, sometimes hearing a small genuine expression of affirmation can make all the difference.