I was recently reflecting on my past and the different periods of my life, and I noticed a trend. At every point in my life, there were social expectations, stigmas and titles that I used to make conclusions about people. I realized going into college that the attributes and factors that I thought made someone “important” or “cool” in high school were completely off base. I thought if someone wasn’t popular, there had to be a reason. They obviously weren’t fun, interesting or worth getting to know. I never stopped to think any deeper.
When I came to college, I was exposed to a lot of different types of people, and that continues every day. I hang out with people that I wouldn’t have previously, because of the ideas I would have drawn based on their social labels. Being in this cultural melting pot has taught me that everyone is cool in their own way. Even more importantly, everyone is important! No one has more worth than another. I’ve realized 90 percent of the time that “popular” people aren’t somehow magically more likable, but just more outgoing and social than others. Introversion or extraversion is a pretty well hard-wired part of our brain. We can’t really help it, and its okay to be shy! Shyness doesn’t in the least bit subtract from someone's value or “coolness.”
In essence, I realized popularity is a false measure of “cool.” I’ve met a lot of people that don’t have huge friend groups. Most of those people are the coolest, most likable people I’ve ever met. If one were to judge their likability and personality by their popularity, their judgment would be hopelessly false. If you get to know someone for who they are, and not who you think they are or what you label them as, you’ll be surprised at what you might find.
Most of us have dealt with labels and false ideas personally, so the majority of us know they can be painful. It is not a travesty to understand that someone’s social label exists. The fact is that they do. The injustice to one’s self and others is to not overlook them in order to peer deeper into one’s true self. Don’t draw opinions based on popularity, because popularity is a false measure of personality and virtue. Popularity matters far less than society as a whole makes it seem. The next time you’re with someone, I challenge you to drop labels, stereotypes and false ideas, and enjoy who they are. Enjoy getting to know them. People deserve it.
