For me, unpopularity and exclusion from my peers began at an early age. I was in third or fourth grade when it first came to my attention that not many people enjoyed my company all that much. This continued throughout elementary and middle school, and although high school was better (by then, I had befriended a solid handful of wonderful people), the fact remained that I was not, nor will I ever be, popular.

Now, this certainly isn't my way of searching for pity by any means. Sure, there have been several times throughout my journey when I've asked myself, "Why am I not as cool as other people?" or "Why don't I have more friends?" But I have since crossed that bridge and came to terms with who I am. I'm sure people had their reasons for not liking me, just as I have my reasons for not liking certain people. You can't please everyone. The way I see it, as long as you love who you are, you don't have to worry about what other people think. However, being somewhat of an outsider through my years at public school, I've discovered many things about popularity (ironic, I know), which have brought me to the decision that I'm actually glad that I was never popular. Here are just a few things I discovered while on the outside looking in:

There's more pressure to fit in with the crowd.

Being popular means everyone knows everything about your surface without getting to know the face beneath the mask. People hold you to a certain standard, and if you don't reach their expectations, drama soon follows. That's a lot of pressure that I'm thankful I was never given. It seems that there's more room to be true to yourself when you go unnoticed rather than when you're admired by all. This allowed me to discover myself during school. I felt as though I didn't need to wear a mask, whereas I witnessed many people putting on a show just to fit in. With less pressure to act a certain way, I was free to be myself.

Being "unpopular" gives you a better opportunity to make true friends.

If I have learned anything about being an outcast, it's that I don't need a group of friends to be happy. Over the years, I have learned to prefer hanging out with fewer people than associate with a specific clique. Stronger relationships occur when you interact with friends more one-on-one than in large crowds. In fact, most of my closest friends are hardly acquaintances with one other, so I don't necessarily have a "group" at all. Flying under the radar throughout middle and high school has allowed me to make some of the best friends I will ever have. There's no pressure to fit in or be perfect when I'm with them—we can be ourselves, which is much more comfortable.

Unpopularity made me who I am.

Through all of the bullying, exclusion, trial and error, and self-esteem issues, I have become the independent person that I am today. If it wasn't for the hurtful words said about me and to me, I wouldn't be as tough. If it wasn't for being left out of several plans that my "friends" had made, I wouldn't be as understanding. If it wasn't for all of the times I had tried (and failed) to make friends and fit myself in with a certain clique, I wouldn't be as patient. And if it wasn't for all of the moments that I questioned myself and my worth, I wouldn't be as confident in who I am today.

Being popular doesn't make you a bad person, just like being unpopular doesn't make you a good person. You define your own character—the amount of friends you have does not. Being an outsider has helped me discover that there's more to life than the number of people who like you. Those years may have been painful at times, but I wouldn't take back a single moment. I'm proud of who I have become—whether or not other people agree—and I wouldn't have it any other way.