Poetry On Odyssey: Love Yourself

Poetry On Odyssey: Love Yourself

A poem for me, about me, to me.
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At 15 I never thought of love

At 13 I lost my Serenity

At 15 I lost plenty

My fight has always been against me

Self-sabotage has been the tea

Sipping on my issues within myself

Asking for the one that never tears up help

Funded education by the grant called Pell

State of Illinois has saved this kid many times

Education has better this mans rhymes

Every year a letter of more and more doubt is signed

As the years go, so does my mind

In a way that you may think is fine

To where the child is the man

To where there is a plan

The plan is magnificent in its making

To where people are generally interested and not faking

There is a book

It has been laid out by the cook

The cook is me

It is everything I have ever needed for me

Bridging the wide gap between imagination and reality

It’s healthy it’s my green tea

My whole life I have felt unfree

Free and unfree but belonging to nobody

Spelling out confusion in this life like a spelling bee

Calling on others, myself, and hate with no caller id

Mysterious veils of truths shrouded in emotionally wrote hyperboles

Be safe and confine in me

Be me and deny in me

Be me and win in me

Be me and lose it all with me

Be me and crush everyone with me

Be me and come back with me

Be me and try next time with me

Sit off in the distance and sail the Caribbean Sea

Caribbean Sea inhabit-anted by me

By my hopes and dreams

You would see the positive and negative extremes

You would see the effect of many regimes

You would get to see my life and it’s theme

You would see that everyone has their teams

As you sail the sea you will see me flying by the waves

Because to energy I am a slave

Always always somehow sending shockwaves

Because it’s the experience that saves

Waiting waiting for me to fall to my grave

Growing up is such a hard thing to do

At 23 I have gained and lost everything

At 23 I am me

At 23 I will win everything

Me At 23 you will see

In 2018 winning is me and today I am winning

Cover Image Credit: Bryon Pierson

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I Woke up In The Middle Of The Night To Write About My Fears, They're Worse Than The Dark

One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

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It is one of those nights when I am tired, but for some reason, I can't seem to fall asleep. So, what do I do? I pull out my laptop, and I begin to write. Who knows where it will lead. It could lead to a killer article or something that does not make sense. I mean it is almost 2 A.M. In my mind, that's pretty late.

Anyways, let's do this thing.

Like many people, thoughts seem to pile up in my head at this time. It could be anything from a time when I was younger to embarrassing stories to wondering why I am "wasting" my time somewhere to thoughts about the future. All of these things come at me like a wildfire. One minute I'm thinking about what I want to do after college next thing I know I'm remembering the time I tried talking to a boy and choked on my spit.

The thought that is going through my mind as I write this is about the future. It's about the future of my fears. Let me explain. I have multiple fears. Some of my fears I can hide pretty well, others I am terrible at hiding. My fears may seem silly to some. While others might have the same fears. Shall we start?

1. My career

I don't know where to begin with this one. For as long as I can remember, my consistent dream job has been working in the world of sports, specifically hockey. A career in sports can be and is a challenging thing. The public eye is on you constantly. A poor trade choice? Fans are angry. Your team sucks? "Fans" are threatening to cheer for someone else if you can't get your sh*t together. You can be blamed for anything and everything. Whether you are the coach, general manager, owner, it does not matter. That's terrifying to me, but for some reason, I want to work for a team.

2. My family

Julie Fox

Failing with my family, whether that be the family I was born into or my future family, it terrifies me. I have watched families around me fall apart and I have seen how it has affected them. Relationships have fallen apart because of it. I have heard people talk about how much they hate one of their parents because of what happened. I don't want that.

3. Time

This could be a dumb fear. I'm not sure, but I fear time. With every minute that passes, I am just another minute closer to the end. With every day that passes that I am not accomplishing goals or dreams I have, I am losing precious time. It scares me to think of something horrible like "What if I die tomorrow because of something horrific?" or even worse, "What if I don't make it through today?" It's terrible, I know.

4. Forgetting precious memories

When I was younger, I had brain surgery. It is now much harder for me to remember things. I am truly terrified that I am going to forget things I will want to hold close to me forever, but I won't be able to. I am scared I'll forget about the little things that mean a lot. I'm afraid of forgetting about old memories that may disappear. I'm worried that I'll forget about something like my wedding day. That might seem out of this world, but it's a reality for me.

5. Saying "goodbye"

I hate saying bye. It is one of my least favorite things. Saying bye, especially to people I don't know when I'll see again, is a stab in the heart for me. I love my people so much. I love being around them. I love laughing with them. Thought of never having a hello with them again scares me beyond belief.

6. Leaving places that I love

Alright, let me start off by saying this- it takes a lot for me to love a place. It has to feel like home. It has to make me feel comfortable. It has to be a place I can go to and be myself. Thankfully, I have had and still have multiple places that are like that. I have also had places I could not wait to leave. I think that's why leaving places I love is so hard and something I fear so much. I am afraid I'll never get that place "back", for lack of a better term. I guess, I'm trying to say, it's like a piece of me is leaving as well.




These six things are just the start of my fears. Some of these might seem "dumb" or "ridiculous" to you, but for me, it's my life. These are the things that I think about the most. These are the things that feel like a pit in my stomach. These six things are parts of my life that mean a lot to me.

Cover Image Credit:

Emily Heinrichs

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How To Be your Own Best Friend

Flight attendants tell you to secure your own oxygen mask before someone else for a reason.

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Human interaction is one of, if not the most important facets of a healthy and well-rounded life. No matter how much we trick ourselves into thinking we can operate on our own, we will always naturally crave the intimacy of a friendship or relationship. That being said, it can also serve as too much of a good thing. We have been conditioned to be constantly interacting with another person, whether through technology or in person. As important as friends and significant others are, we can't forget the most important person to our happiness: ourselves.

As self-care differs with each individual person, there's no way I could tell you exactly what you specifically need to become comfortable with your own company. These are a few tips I have tried in the past and currently, that help me reconnect with me.

Try going MIA for a day or two. This is not to say that you should cut off all of your friends and loved ones. Simply signaling to the important people in my life with a message saying, "I'm taking the day to myself today" is enough. Disconnecting for a day to regroup and relax on your own can be the first big step in becoming more comfortable on your own.

Now that you have established some alone time, try to come up with a few different activities to participate in. Do something nice for yourself. This should be something to incorporate into your daily routine, simply to practice being gentler with yourself. It can be as small as taking a warm bath at the end of the day, and as big as buying yourself that big-ticket item you've always wanted. Think of the small things that make you smile. Write them down, remember them, and reward yourself with them. Celebrating yourself for the little things will make each day more rewarding.

Do something alone that you would normally do with others. Grab lunch, go shopping, see a movie, go for a walk in the park. Alone. Don't worry about looking awkward. To ease your anxiety, remind yourself that everyone else is too obsessed with what they are doing or what they look like to notice that you are sitting alone.

Aside from keeping yourself occupied, it is also important to be comfortable without distractions. This will enhance the quality of the time you are spending with yourself. Being bored with that at first can be okay, too. Spending time alone to process your feelings and thoughts can lead you to a clearer and centered mindset. When we feel uncomfortable or 'bad' emotions, we love to distract ourselves in any way possible. Challenging yourself to think through your issues and become your own shoulder to cry allows you to trust and be comfortable with yourself.

When it comes to social interaction and solitude, everyone has a different balance that works for them. What is important, however, is finding and maintaining that balance. Enjoy yourself first, and many more doors will open up for you.

Cover Image Credit:

Maggie Joyce

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