Poetry On Odyssey: Love Yourself

Poetry On Odyssey: Love Yourself

A poem for me, about me, to me.
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At 15 I never thought of love

At 13 I lost my Serenity

At 15 I lost plenty

My fight has always been against me

Self-sabotage has been the tea

Sipping on my issues within myself

Asking for the one that never tears up help

Funded education by the grant called Pell

State of Illinois has saved this kid many times

Education has better this mans rhymes

Every year a letter of more and more doubt is signed

As the years go, so does my mind

In a way that you may think is fine

To where the child is the man

To where there is a plan

The plan is magnificent in its making

To where people are generally interested and not faking

There is a book

It has been laid out by the cook

The cook is me

It is everything I have ever needed for me

Bridging the wide gap between imagination and reality

It’s healthy it’s my green tea

My whole life I have felt unfree

Free and unfree but belonging to nobody

Spelling out confusion in this life like a spelling bee

Calling on others, myself, and hate with no caller id

Mysterious veils of truths shrouded in emotionally wrote hyperboles

Be safe and confine in me

Be me and deny in me

Be me and win in me

Be me and lose it all with me

Be me and crush everyone with me

Be me and come back with me

Be me and try next time with me

Sit off in the distance and sail the Caribbean Sea

Caribbean Sea inhabit-anted by me

By my hopes and dreams

You would see the positive and negative extremes

You would see the effect of many regimes

You would get to see my life and it’s theme

You would see that everyone has their teams

As you sail the sea you will see me flying by the waves

Because to energy I am a slave

Always always somehow sending shockwaves

Because it’s the experience that saves

Waiting waiting for me to fall to my grave

Growing up is such a hard thing to do

At 23 I have gained and lost everything

At 23 I am me

At 23 I will win everything

Me At 23 you will see

In 2018 winning is me and today I am winning

Cover Image Credit: Bryon Pierson

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If You've Ever Been Called Overly-Emotional Or Too Sensitive, This Is For You

Despite what they have told you, it's a gift.
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Emotional: a word used often nowadays to insult someone for their sensitivity towards a multitude of things. If you cry happy tears, you're emotional. If you express (even if it's in a healthy way) that something is bothering you, you're sensitive. If your hormones are in a funk and you just happen to be sad one day, you're emotional AND sensitive.

Let me tell you something that goes against everything people have probably ever told you. Being emotional and being sensitive are very, very good things. It's a gift. Your ability to empathize, sympathize and sensitize yourself to your own situation and to others' situations is a true gift that many people don't possess, therefore many people do not understand.

Never let someone's negativity towards this gift of yours get you down. We are all guilty of bashing something that is unfamiliar to us: something that is different. But take pride in knowing God granted this special gift to you because He believes you will use it to make a difference someday, somehow.

This gift of yours was meant to be utilized. It would not be a part of you, if you were not meant to use it. Because of this gift, you will change someone's life someday. You might be the only person that takes a little extra time to listen to someone's struggle when the rest of the world turns their backs. In a world where a six figure income is a significant determinant in the career someone pursues, you might be one of the few who decides to donate your time for no income at all. You might be the first friend someone thinks to call when they get good news, simply because they know you will be happy for them. You might be an incredible mother who takes too much time to nurture and raise beautiful children who will one day change the world.

To feel everything with every single part of your being is a truly wonderful thing. You love harder. You smile bigger. You feel more. What a beautiful thing! Could you imagine being the opposite of these things? Insensitive and emotionless?? Both are unhealthy, both aren't nearly as satisfying, and neither will get you anywhere worth going in life.

Imagine how much richer your life is because you love other's so hard. It might mean more heartache, but the reward is always worth the risk. Imagine how much richer your life is because you are overly appreciative of the beauty a simple sunset brings. Imagine how much richer your life is because you can be moved to tears by the lessons of someone else's story.

Embrace every part of who you are and be just that 100%. There will be people who criticize you for the size of your heart. Feel sorry for them. There are people who are dishonest. There are people who are manipulative. There are people who are downright malicious. And the one thing people say to put you down is "you feel too much." Hmm..

Sounds like more of a compliment to me. Just sayin'.

Cover Image Credit: We Heart It

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Don't Rely On Others For Happiness

It's so cliche but happiness does come from within.

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My fatal flaw is that I tend to rely on my friends and family a lot for mental and emotional support and that's not fair to anyone.

I was really unhappy for the longest time. I mean, I was in a relationship, going to work, hanging out with my friends; I did everything a young twenty-something-year-old should be doing but for some reason, I was never happy.

Every quiet moment alone was hard. I avoided 'alone time' at all costs and the best way to do that was to be with other people constantly.

I worked almost 50 hours a week like a maniac. By the time I got home, I was so exhausted that my alone time was just the 7 hours of sleep in my bed. It was easy to keep up the routine when I was motivated to stay busy. I love being busy, it gives me purpose. I didn't realize at the time that I was keeping busy to avoid bigger issues at hand. I thought that by surrounding myself with people I love would help bring my mental health and spirits up -- I ended up dragging others down.

This may sound really crappy and I'm only saying this out of personal experience but being around someone who is constantly sad, unhappy and unmotivated can be very draining and it gets emotionally tiring. Eventually, you just can't handle being around that person anymore.

I was that person.

Sure I was at work doing my duties but my co-workers were less and less enjoying my company and I started seeing my friends fewer times in the week. I came to realize that it wasn't anyone else's responsibility to make me feel better other than my own.
Of course, my friends tried to help. They did the best way they could, by just being there but it is not their responsibility to take care of me. Putting pressure on those who aren't actually trained professionals of mental health is unfair. My friends didn't know how to handle me and when they started distancing, I couldn't blame them because I probably would have done the same.

Self-love comes from within. Learning how to love yourself starts with YOU. You have to motivate yourself to do something different, to go outside, to read a book to learn something new. I realized that my energy and how I carried myself affected the people surrounding me and I wasn't ok with how the situation was unfolding.

I understand that change is hard. Since I am a very routine person, it was extra hard for me to come out of my comfort zone. Once I did, everything started looking up.

Reaching out for help is one thing but relying on others to fix you and your problems is another. It's ok to ask for support, to ask for help when you're lost but be considerate of those you're pulling into your situation. Everyone has problems and dumping yours on someone else's is never ok.

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