My Forest Of Misfortune
You killed me theoretically. Although I've been reborn, blossom in bliss from my cocoon of despair. It wasn't all shine. I had you but you didn't even have the decency to keep it real with me.
You were a black rose, beautiful and dark. Full of thorns and ways to hurt me. Each layer, a petal fell. Each piece and new disturbance of my peace. Layers I wished I never saw.
Each time you cheated you stabbed me. Repeatedly Each wound deepened in me. Please, I can't breathe while you choke me with your control. I'm beginning to become uncomfortable. I'm turning Black and blue don't you know strength and sadness is a sick mix. This hybrid makes great fear of the person you see when you look in the mirror.
Who are you? This person who's become too weak? Take a peak, face the light and your pretty little fears. This is something no one would ever be able to believe. Living up to everyone's expectations except for your own.
Resilient, independent, happy is what they see but inside a girl cries, living a life of lies. I always bounce back 10x harder and smarter than the last but that doesn't make the pain feel any different, still leaking out what seems like fire. In dire need of a break, of a change, new place.
Waiting for a sign, that this is a fresh start, that the rainy days will soon fade away, that this pain will stay at bay. In denial that this is how things will now be, constant change and heartbreak. Every day is another chance but the past always seems to linger not too far away.
I've forgotten that I'm art, so delicate, worth more than gold telling a story, no need for words. Seeing my depth, many shades of dark and bright, full of metaphors and lessons
. Life has burned me, no one warned me of how hot it would be, some quick like a pop of grease over the steaming food. Others what seems like a cigarette being put out on your arm, slow and layers deep. Skin goes raw, now vulnerable open for the world to see.
Slowly you grow your skin back, all brought to you by strength and not having defeat. I stare into the moon imagining all the possibilities, one decision changes everything completely, or is that just fate? People envy you sweetie and you can't even see it.
Searching within the betrayal for answers. Just trying to make sense of this mess. A wise woman always said "innovation is messy" and that's one hell of a true statement. Making this up in the moment, searching for the solution. I realized wanting the friendship in return I would lose myself.
Constantly consumed by deceit. Giving myself out, opening my soul to get not a damn thing in return. Like spring cleaning I got rid of dead weight, realized my worth and seen you weren't going to pay. I deserve happiness and to know there's no hate. That you truly love me for me.
Maybe I've finally gotten used to the craziness or maybe, just maybe I have found my true serenity.