A Poem About Loving Someone Who Can't Be Loved

A Poem About Loving Someone Who Can't Be Loved

Sometimes, you fall in love with someone who doesn't want to be loved; here's a poem about that.
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I once fell in love with a boy who wasn't sure of himself and didn't want to be loved by me- or by anyone. Writing is my outlet and what I want to keep posting to help those around me if they've ever been in the same situation- so here's a poem I wrote about the man who was unlovable.

The person I loved was not a human being.

He was a car crash wrapped in pretty skin and prominent bones. His mouth kissed almost as many girls as cigarettes, and his hands grasps more blades than a set of fingers. He ripped his thorax before he could even tear out his heart. Bloodied lines were crimson tally marks for each time his step-father turned into the monsters he used to read about. Exquisite wood carved between darkened and dilated pupils resembled the shadows that swallowed me entirely. He always said he loved the darkness- not because there was no light, but because it was black, just black. He loved it more than he could ever love me. The scariest part was that he loved it so much, he enveloped himself in it and he became it. Even then, he was my love, my dance partner; the one that waltzed in and out of my life repeatedly. Step here, step there; step in, step out. When he takes a step back, you never see it as a movement, you see it as a threat that he will leave. When he grasps your hand between his and pulls you close, he won't whisper alluring secrets of how much he adores you, he'll end up telling you all the ways he will break you; and he does. He breaks you into so many pieces that you find them scattered all over the places you once loved him. Where you first heard his voice, your bed sheets, where he laid with you and told you he knew you loved him, but he could never love you. Now, whenever I look at him I do not see a human being, I see someone I could've loved forever but broke me before I could even think about doing so.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Just Because I Check My Boyfriend's Location Every Hour Doesn't Make Me A 'Psycho Girlfriend'

No, checking his location every hour does not make me psycho.
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My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a few months now. He has come up with describing my actions sometimes as “psycho girlfriend.” As much as this bothered me at first I started to realize there is nothing wrong with my “psycho” actions.

I don’t monitor who my boyfriend hangs out with and I don’t care who he texts, I trust him, but I do watch other things he does.

I probably check his location about once an hour, maybe more if he isn’t texting me back.

This isn’t some way for me to find out if he is with another girl, it’s so I can ensure he isn’t dead in a ditch somewhere. If he was on Snapchat five minutes ago but hasn’t texted me back in 45 minutes, yeah I’ll call him out on it but I'm not actually mad. If he is with friends and not answering me, it’s cool. I just want to be able to make sure I know where he is and that he is alive on a regular basis.

I make him keep his read receipts on for me.

I don’t care if he leaves me on read, I just need to know he is seeing what I’m saying. Half the time, I text him random facts or thoughts I have throughout my day, those don’t always need a response back. However, I do want to know he is acknowledging me through reading my texts.

Yes, from time to time I will spam him and make him respond to my messages so we can make plans or I can know what he is doing with his day but it’s not like I plan out his every move for him or care if he is getting drunk with the boys on a Wednesday, not my issue.

I don’t ask for all of his time or anything. I know he is a busy person. All I ask for him to text me back on a regular basis (once an hour to be exact), for him to allow for me to know where he is at all times and to get one night a week with him.

I don’t plan to show up where he is or anything, I simply just like to know information and get a weekly time with him. I don’t care if I only see him that one night a week, I just want one night with a movie or dinner or snuggles so I can get my boyfriend time.

The rest of the time he is his own person, and I couldn’t really care less about what he does in that time.

Cover Image Credit: Grace Wilkowski

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The Door Is Locked and I Threw Away The Key So Don’t Try To Come Back Into My Life

I am doing better and finding myself, I do not need you coming back. What's done is done.
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In my mind, I say that we met at a perfect time. My life was going well and having you in my life made me a happier person. We made a lot of memories in the short time that we spent together. Everything seemed to be going well, but then everything changed with the simple flip of a switch.

I started to worry that everything you were saying was just a lie to string me along. It seemed like you were hiding something from me. I only wanted the best for us, but you had something different in mind.

All it took was one simple text that changed everything between us. You became the person I never thought you would be and the person you said you would never be. I saw a different side of you that made me realize that everything I wanted was not what you wanted.

I was more upset with myself than I was upset with you. I believed everything you told me. And even when I felt that something was going wrong, I still wanted the best. The signs were so clear, but I thought it was just me overthinking or my past coming back to haunt me.

I was sad for a long time but along with being sad, I was also mad at the situation. I felt safe with you, and that I could trust you with so much. I trusted you so much that when things ended, I felt so stupid. I felt that I wasted my time with us but in the end, it shaped me into the person I am now.

Fast forward a couple months and I am doing better than I thought I would be. It took a long time to accept what happened and to realize that this is for the best. And while I still think about what could have been I know that it is better, and I am doing things for myself.

I am doing things that are making my future look bright. I am going after chances that I would normally be scared to even think about. I am going on adventures that make me the happiest I can be.

I don't hate you and I don't want anything bad to happen to you. We have both apologized for things we have done and we both realized it is better this way. There is just one thing I want you to know though... When I am doing great, do not try to come back into my life.

We had our chance and while a couple of months ago I would want you back, I am happy with how we are now. There are a lot of things I wish could have done differently, but we cannot go back in time. We have to accept what happened and move on from it.

So, when you see that I am doing big things with my future, do not try to bring me down. When I am happy with someone, do not try to wiggle yourself back in. When I am vulnerable, do not use that to your advantage. When I am trying to find myself in situations, do not try to guide me in any direction towards you.

Once I am doing great, then it is time for you to see that I do not need you anymore to make me happy. I am a strong person and I will figure things out. It hurts sometimes, and I overthink the situation more than I would like. But what we were is in the past and it is time for me to be great by myself.

So take this as a final goodbye because once I am gone, I am gone.

Cover Image Credit: EveryPixel

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