To The 'PNMs Who Are On The Fence About Rushing

To The 'PNMs Who Are On The Fence About Rushing

You aren't alone.

Dear P-PNM (Potential, Potential New Member),

First of all, I get it. It can be pricey. You don't think you're cut out for it. You don't fit the "sorority girl" persona. You don't want to make yourself vulnerable to rejection. I heard all of these reasons and more about why my now-sisters almost didn't go through Fall Recruitment and I had several of these internal battles myself, up until Pref Night, but they all dissipated on the morning of bid day and I promise they will for you too.

It Can Be Pricey.

I'm not going to sit here and tell you that it isn't expensive to pay for a house mortgage, 14 meals a week, date parties, sisterhood events and fundraisers — I'm telling you it's worth it. Worth every penny. If you don't think you can financially swing it, talk to your exec board about scholarships and financial aid. Nearly every chapter has unused money that members aren't taking advantage of.

You Don't Think You're Cut Out For It.

My sister and best friend is among the shyest people I know. The thought of social situations like recruitment is often overwhelming for her but she persisted through recruitment anyway and she was rewarded with a bid, a great friend group and a more outgoing personality when she needs it.

You Don't Fit The "Sorority Girl" Persona

Very few people do! In every great chapter, there are equal parts outgoing and shy members, religious and atheist, liberal and conservative, Lilly Pulitzer wearers and Pokémon T-shirt wearers, girls who like to party, girls who would rather stay in and order a pizza and members who fall somewhere in between.

You Don't Want To Make Yourself Vulnerable To Rejection

During my first round of recruitment, I fell in love with a chapter. They were beautiful, kind, intelligent, philanthropic — everything I wanted to be in college. I connected well with all the girls I spoke with and my conversations felt easy and natural. I had the grades I needed for them and a pretty well-rounded resume. The next morning, I got my schedule back and their house wasn't on it. I had been dropped. Ouch. I considered dropping out of rush but after a long hour of prayer and a tough conversation with my Rho Chi leader, thenI was reminded that rejection is simply a part of life and that if God isn't giving you something you're asking for it's because He's making you wait for something better. Six days later that "something better" did come. My bid from ADPi. If I had been closed-minded and jumped ship after a little adversity I would never have been introduced to my sisters and my incredible friend group who now I couldn't imagine my life without.

So if you're on the fence about going through recruitment, just know that you aren't alone. Lots of girls consider not going through recruitment and many others consider dropping at some point during the week. If this is you, I encourage you to go for it! You never know how it'll work out until you try. And if you still aren't totally in love with your sorority by initiation week then you can reconsider. It's better to try and have it not work thanto never try at all. You could find your forever home like I did in Eta. Good luck ladies and enjoy your freshman year! It goes faster than you think!

Cover Image Credit: Georgia Gallagher

Popular Right Now

To The Friends I Won't Talk To After High School

I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.


So, for the last four years I’ve seen you almost everyday. I’ve learned about your annoying little brother, your dogs and your crazy weekend stories. I’ve seen you rock the awful freshman year fashion, date, attend homecoming, study for AP tests, and get accepted into college.

Thank you for asking me about my day, filling me in on your boy drama and giving me the World History homework. Thank you for complimenting my outfits, laughing at me presenting in class and listening to me complain about my parents. Thank you for sending me your Quizlets and being excited for my accomplishments- every single one of them. I appreciate it all because I know that soon I won’t really see you again. And that makes me sad. I’ll no longer see your face every Monday morning, wave hello to you in the hallways or eat lunch with you ever again. We won't live in the same city and sooner or later you might even forget my name.

We didn’t hang out after school but none the less you impacted me in a huge way. You supported my passions, stood up for me and made me laugh. You gave me advice on life the way you saw it and you didn’t have to but you did. I think maybe in just the smallest way, you influenced me. You made me believe that there’s lots of good people in this world that are nice just because they can be. You were real with me and that's all I can really ask for. We were never in the same friend group or got together on the weekends but you were still a good friend to me. You saw me grow up before your eyes and watched me walk into class late with Starbucks every day. I think people like you don’t get enough credit because I might not talk to you after high school but you are still so important to me. So thanks.

With that said, I truly hope that our paths cross one day in the future. You can tell me about how your brothers doing or how you regret the college you picked. Or maybe one day I’ll see you in the grocery store with a ring on your finger and I’ll be so happy you finally got what you deserved so many guys ago.

And if we ever do cross paths, I sincerely hope you became everything you wanted to be. I hope you traveled to Italy, got your dream job and found the love of your life. I hope you have beautiful children and a fluffy dog named Charlie. I hope you found success in love before wealth and I hope you depended on yourself for happiness before anything else. I hope you visited your mom in college and I hope you hugged your little sister every chance you got. She’s in high school now and you always tell her how that was the time of your life. I sincerely hope, every great quality I saw in you, was imprinted on the world.

And hey, maybe I’ll see you at the reunion and maybe just maybe you’ll remember my face. If so, I’d like to catch up, coffee?



Cover Image Credit: High school Musical

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

I Didn't Join A Panhellenic Sorority

It's okay if you don't join a panhellenic sorority. Sometimes a different organization can turn out to be the best thing.


Before going to college I was faced with a dilemma, should I rush? I wanted to rush just for the social aspect, I thought it would be my best shot at making a bunch of friends. However, deep down I knew that greek life really wasn't me. I didn't want to do something if I wasn't one hundred percent behind it. There was a part of me that did want to be in a sorority but the other part of me really didn't want to rush. Let me be clear, I don't think Greek life is bad, I just think it wasn't for me. I talked to my brother and sister-in-law about this because they both were in Greek life at the college I attend now; they told me that they didn't think I would like it either.

What my brother and sister-in-law told me that I might like was, a Christian sorority called Sigma Phi Lambda. When they described it to me it seemed like exactly what I was wanting. As soon as I got to college I sought them out; and I went to their recruitment nights. I loved it! It was exactly what I was looking for. I ended up joining. This sorority brought me an amazing group of friends! Most importantly, I have joined the perfect sorority for me! A few things I liked most about Sigma Phi Lambda was the people were so welcoming, it was more low key and laid back, I was still able to have a big and a "Pham", we still did lots of sorority things whilst also having activities that strengthened us on our walks with the Lord, and I gained so many sisters that I now have strong relationships with. Sigma Phi Lambda gave me so many friends and something to be involved in on campus. They gave me somewhere to belong and I am so glad I chose to join them.

Rushing may be exactly what you need when you go to college, but if it's not that is okay. Just join something that makes you happy. Join an organization that helps you grow and surrounds you with people that you want to be around. I promise when you get to college that there is an organization for just about everything, find the one that fits you. No matter what you choose I promise it's good. Just make sure you choose what is right for you.

Related Content

Facebook Comments