Here we go again: It's kind of unfortunate that I have to write another article on this, but certain events have inspired me to do so - and it's only important that I talk about it (yet again) so people are aware of what is going on in our society. I'm just going to get straight to the point and lay it all out there without sugar coating it:
Women do not owe you anything.
Women are not your property.
Women are allowed to say "no".
(Just like any human being is allowed to say "no".)
If you make a woman feel guilty for saying "no", you're mean.
If you automatically think women owe you something, you're insensitive and you need to get a reality check.
And finally,
You need to get over yourself.
I have to be blunt about it, because I don't know how else to be. I've heard so many stories about women who have turned guys down, or had to repeatedly explain themselves so many times as to why they weren't interested - myself included. I've endured situations where I've felt guilty for being completely, dead pan honest with someone about my emotions. Looking back, I realize how ridiculous it was that I had to go into so much depth about why I am the way I am, and constantly explaining myself to another person - and an inconsiderate, rude person at that. I was wasting my precious time dishing out so many reasons why I am the person that I am to someone who wasn't even respectful enough to truly understand - someone selfish and juvenile who didn't deserve my answers. I knew from the start that people like this - who made me feel incredibly ashamed and horrible - were bad news. The moment I felt uncomfortable and anxiety ridden just thinking about how I had to be honest about how I didn't "like them that way", or why I didn't want to hang out with them, was a giant red flag. I mean, isn't that the most obvious thing that you can think of? But even after saying "no" to someone, their intentions, their plans, their anything, I was still made out to be the bad guy. I guess standing up for yourself, and your mental health in general, is a total crime these days. Remind me to shove my emotions to the side for a whiny boy's ego next time. *insert major sarcasm*
I believe that any person is allowed to say "no". But for some reason, when women open up their mouths and take action when their gut says "I don't think so", they get punished, harassed, and made out to be the the insensitive one - when clearly, it's the other way around. So, why is this? Why does most of society assume that women are obligated to men's needs, or that they owe someone something? Who in the world made up these ridiculous rules, and how come it's been so difficult to dismantle them? I guess it falls into the category of women struggling for equality since . . . well, forever. So what are we teaching girls and young women? That we're supposed to ignore how uncomfortable we are on the account of making a guy feel happy? I know it sounds ridiculous, but that's because it really is. For any woman out there who feels obligated to say "yes" to a guy who makes her feel anything but comfortable, don't be afraid to tell them "no". It's not an easy thing, and I know this from past experience, (a lot!) and it's easy to fall into the guilt trap, or to be manipulated into believing you're in the wrong. The goal is to stay strong, and to remember that you're feelings are valid, and he does not own you - you are not his property.
Stay strong, and stay true to yourself - one hundred percent.
