I'm enraged— I'm itching as I write this in the computer lab.
A couple was across from me, whispering, giggling, and shamelessly locking lips in front of at least 30 people. Maybe the others didn't mind, but it makes me uncomfortable. Like, please, everyone, save your Kim Kardashian sex tape rehearsals for the bedrooms. I watch enough fictionalized public display of affection on TV. Stop it.
If most of you don't know what public display of affection is, it's clear as day. Wouldn't you feel uncomfortable if a couple was randomly swapping saliva next to you? On a bus? At a party? In your neighborhood? To be fair, PDA isn't your typical peck on the lips, kiss on the cheek, or tug on the chin. No, no. It's the constant touching, cuddling, holding hands, and sloppy kisses on the park bench. Honestly, it depends on the degree of the display.
Frankly, I despise anyone who finds the need to exhibit their intimacy to the world. It's not because I'm bitter and single. I know I look like a baked potato. It's just utterly uncomfortable to witness, especially if you're in great proximity with that couple. And, also, to those desperate Instagram flaunters, you're not safe. It's annoying to scroll down at your "candid" photos with your boyfriends and girlfriends.
We don't care. You're in a relationship, congratu-freaking-lations.
I'm all for love, and I won't knock any couple for their affection. But, why do you have to force your affection on strangers? Hell, even people you're close to? Do you know how many times I've been a third wheel in college, and I had to watch the other two cuddle and kiss across from me at a Panera Bread table?
I've been to a Lana Del Rey concert, general admissions floor, and there were literally so many couples holding each other, making out, and I'm here to see Lana, not to see your happily ever after. I'm not in the mood to see two people kissing after everyone screams "Happy New Year!" or when the fireworks hit on Independence Day.
I'm on the boardwalk to enjoy the beach weather—and to window shop, but I didn't ask to see you holding hands or making out like you're in a corny teen flick. Oh my god, stop it.
It's just not fair for others to witness what you're doing with each other, and I'm not hinting that if I were in a relationship, I'd be involved in PDA.
I'm just saying that too much is too ridiculous. Do it on your own time. But, even with me saying this, people are going to do whatever they please.
"iT's A fReE cOuNTrY"
"wHy aRe yOu lOoKiNg aNyWaY?"
Do us lonely hearts a favor: calm it down with the PDA. A kiss on the lips won't make me vomit. But witnessing a 4-minute make-out session will.
Thank you.
