Recently, I hung out with one of my best friends, and by hung out, I meant that there was candy and vegan food consumed, "Orange Is The New Black" watched, laughing and conversations about gender identity at three in the morning. It was quite fun.

Among the many conversation topics that we covered, the idea of friendship and relationships came up. Well, specifically, we talked about how often times guys and girls throw each other away for a variety of reasons.

Sometimes it is in the context of a friendship, or sometimes it is in the context of a broken romantic relationship, but more often than not, we had seen in our lives that people had thrown strong connections away. Romantic relationships end, and suddenly the other person is the worst person you have ever met. A word is misspoken or misunderstood, and years of friendship are thrown away. The more that I have thought about it, the more resolved I became in my utter hatred of that. I love people, quite a lot, so this idea of just walking away and kicking someone to the curb deeply grieves me.

To be honest, it truly confounds me.

It is incredibly confusing to me as to why someone would just leave or let someone walk away without effort to mend a bridge.

Perhaps this mentality stems from the culture of my childhood town. It was super tiny, and people often live their whole lives there. That being said, people have conflict, date, marry and divorce each other, and because it is such a small town, there is a high probability of running into exes and/or those you might have a feud with even just while going to pick up a prescription from the local grocery store. I remember as a kid, learning who my parents dated before they got married, and it was often a reaction of "Wait, you dated x," or "Wait, hold on! You actually used to kiss y." It was surprising to me because my parents' exes were people I grew up camping with or having Thanksgiving dinner with for years. For my parents, their friendships with these individuals meant more to them than simply holding mistakes and past history against these former friends and significant others.

I believe my mindset to be heavily influenced by my parents - in fact I even have a name for my mindset.

I call it my vintage heart.

For me, I see friendships as continual. Sure, there may be moments where they morph and change. Friends move away or develop new interests and personalities. People may drift apart, that is unfortunately part of life. Yet in my brain, relationships and friendships are unbroken. Rather we re-purpose, and they fit a different role and mold. For example, I had a super close friendship a few years ago. I made some awful decisions, he made some mistakes and at the end of the day, we immensely hurt each other. It took a long time to mend the wounds that we inflicted on each other. At the end of the day, our story had a happy ending. To this day, I would consider him one of my best friends. Due to our busy schedules and physical distance, we rarely speak, but at the end of the day, we are on each other's team and there is the assumption that we must keep each other up to date on significant life events.

For us, our pride and the desire to be right was not worth losing a friendship. The mistakes that we made were not unforgivable. Yes, they obliterated a connection for a time, they caused tears and aches, but we knew the love we had for each other could fill in the gaps that we had left in each other.

Because of this friendship, among others, in addition to my parents' example, I have the vintage heart that I have.

Relationship, romantic or not, take work. They are not always magical and soulmate like. Sometimes you hurt the one you love with misspoken words. There are moments where you will misunderstand someone or misinterpret someone's words or actions. Other times, our own selfishness will guide our behavior, and we might do something that we can never fully comprehend in hindsight. At the end of the day, I believe that love can heal our mistakes. I fully know that grace covers many misspoken words or selfish actions, and I can say this because I have been given much grace and love by those I have hurt and caused pain within.

I leave you with a piece that I wrote a few months ago, and though it is rough, I feel it appropriate to share. It is called "I Believe Love Will Be Enough."

I believe love has the capacity to fill in our gaps

To erase the aches and the anger.

I think love will someday unfurl our tightly bound fists

Am I crazy to hold this idea close?

To know that us, the collective unit entrenched in hurt, is only temporary,

That someday we will simply exist in the space and will no longer hold aches behind our eyes

I heard your voice today.

It was low, warm and filled with a tone that I could not comprehend.

It was familiar and good, holding a vast capacity that I know you possess.

Yet I felt anger

I did not want to know that you exist in better condition than I ever did.

Yet I felt a softened heart, one that could never fully cage in anger

I believe in love.

I believe in the possibility of a good ending.

I believe that love will be enough.

Author's Note: This concept of having a vintage heart does not apply to manipulative or abusive friendships and relationships- physical, emotional, sexual, etc. Your physical and mental health is worth more than a relationship. If you are in one or know someone that is in one, seek help, or contact me. People should not go through those situations alone.

You are worthy of love and are amazing.