You may think that true love isn't out there or that it doesn't exist.
You may be feeling frustrated because you're in college now and it's like "Okay, I've done my time, when am I going to find true love?" Because, you know, you're an adult now and this is the real world and you may actually meet the love of your life in college.
However, it's that kind of mindset that keeps you from the right guy. You'll keep trying and trying and trying, but it seems that no matter how much you try, you just can't seem to settle or fine "the one."
So what do you do?
You start dating someone that you aren't totally interested in. You fall in love with their words, but don't fall in love with who they really are.
Think about your past relationships, or even the one you are in now.
Do they give you that feeling in your stomach that makes you want to fly on a cloud but also throw up at the same time?
Are they concerned with how your day went and always makes sure to ask you about it before they even talk about themselves?
Do they give you that look that just makes you want to melt?
If you answered no to these questions, then they probably weren't, or are not, the one.
I have found that when people come to college they are all in search of the same thing: to settle with whatever they can get first.
Coming into college, the first thing I wanted to do was find a boyfriend. Seems crazy right? I should be focusing on my classes, my future career, and on the organizations I was apart of. I was distracted by the want for love and affection. I kept finding myself with guys that I knew I would never really love, but in the moment it's what I wanted because I was getting attention. Who wouldn't want that? I constantly felt like something in my life was missing. Like I only needed one more puzzle piece to complete the puzzle, but for some reason, that piece had lost itself somewhere.
So there I was, stuck in an endless cycle that seemed unending and, quite honestly, it got very boring.
Step One: Find a guy who was interested in me
Step Two: Hang out/ go on a couple dates
Step Three: Talk for a couple weeks
Step Four: Stop talking after two or Three Weeks (side note: there will be awkward eye contact upon confrontation)
Step Five: Repeat.
It was only my first year of college and there I was obsessing over the thought of, "I need to find a boyfriend to truly be happy and complete."
It wasn't until I my first semester was over that I realized how much time I was wasting. I had given up so many opportunities just to hangout with a guy, only to have it crash and burn later on. So I pledged to just focus on the life that I had. Who needs boys right?
But cmon let's be real, that barely lasted a week when I came back.
I was again blinded by the words of a boy who would never love me like I wanted him to. It was the words that always pulled me in. Words that were so kind and compliment filled that I couldn't help falling, and I fell fast every damn time.
After he left, I was crushed and I felt like giving up on love forever. I just wanted someone to love me! Why was that so hard for guys to understand? I didn't want a hookup. I didn't want a friend. I didn't want just a couple dates. I wanted something real. It was that kind of thinking that was getting me in trouble in the first place. I finally said to myself, "If you stop looking, someone may find you. Let it go."
So I did.
I let go of the notation that i had to find someone to be happy. Life isn't about finding a soulmate or finding someone to call "yours."
Life is about living in the moment. It's about living for the things that are already making you happy, such as the friends that you go out with every Friday night, or the sunrise every morning.
Sometimes you have to stop looking for what you want and let what you want find you.
The day I stopped looking for love is when I finally fell in love with life again.
So, don't settle for someone who doesn't intend on having something serious with you.
Settle for waiting for the right person.
Settle for being happy.
Settle for letting love find you.
I did. :)