Don't Undermine The Love You Have In Friendships

Don't Undermine The Love You Have In Friendships

Why love in friendships is so much more fulfilling than we give it credit for.
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As a society, we have allowed an exploitative culture of love to permeate our industry. The intense commercialization of our most basic human experience not only connotes the capitalistic tendencies of our culture but is additionally indicative of our tendencies to allow such abuses to unfold.

Our top-down complacency with the industry of "love" mars the entire premise of this emotion; which ought to be something of pure, unadulterated connection. To find love is to find solace within another person; to build a home within the unfamiliar.

With this intense cultural obsession with love creates an overwhelming sense of necessity attached to this rare experience. People search in the highest and lowest of places to find this sensation which has been so acutely sensationalized by our society.

Being single I realized my life was not without love. Love intertwines itself within our human experience in so many different capacities, some more subtle than others. Love grows around us in the relationships we form with the people who surround us. Platonic love offers the same vital nutrients of life, essential to our human growth, that one with a romantic partner would.

In the mid 18th century "Romantic Friendships" existed as a common experience within our world. These relationships served as an outlet for people to express love and overt expressions of their sentiments towards people in their lives, despite the lack of a sexual component to these friendships. It was like having a romantic partner, but these relationships could be plentiful rather than singular throughout your life.

The commercialization of romantic love has undermined and historically outshined the importance of romantic friendships. I wonder if people might experience more satisfaction through their personal lives if we could revert to the sentiment of true value placed on friends. The love which we are able to derive from the people close to us brings light and warmth to every facet of our life.

So while society and Hallmark might make us feel like we are missing out by being single, the depth of love which we can experience regardless is powerful and important. The sense of connectivity which we can experience surrounding ourselves with people who understand and value us unconditionally is immeasurable.

Love does not manifest itself in one singular way. Love in any capacity is a beautiful thing to experience and share with another person. Don't undermine the love that you have, no matter what shape it might present itself in.

Cover Image Credit: Tycho Atsma

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Just Because I Check My Boyfriend's Location Every Hour Doesn't Make Me A 'Psycho Girlfriend'

No, checking his location every hour does not make me psycho.
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My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for a few months now. He has come up with describing my actions sometimes as “psycho girlfriend.” As much as this bothered me at first I started to realize there is nothing wrong with my “psycho” actions.

I don’t monitor who my boyfriend hangs out with and I don’t care who he texts, I trust him, but I do watch other things he does.

I probably check his location about once an hour, maybe more if he isn’t texting me back.

This isn’t some way for me to find out if he is with another girl, it’s so I can ensure he isn’t dead in a ditch somewhere. If he was on Snapchat five minutes ago but hasn’t texted me back in 45 minutes, yeah I’ll call him out on it but I'm not actually mad. If he is with friends and not answering me, it’s cool. I just want to be able to make sure I know where he is and that he is alive on a regular basis.

I make him keep his read receipts on for me.

I don’t care if he leaves me on read, I just need to know he is seeing what I’m saying. Half the time, I text him random facts or thoughts I have throughout my day, those don’t always need a response back. However, I do want to know he is acknowledging me through reading my texts.

Yes, from time to time I will spam him and make him respond to my messages so we can make plans or I can know what he is doing with his day but it’s not like I plan out his every move for him or care if he is getting drunk with the boys on a Wednesday, not my issue.

I don’t ask for all of his time or anything. I know he is a busy person. All I ask for him to text me back on a regular basis (once an hour to be exact), for him to allow for me to know where he is at all times and to get one night a week with him.

I don’t plan to show up where he is or anything, I simply just like to know information and get a weekly time with him. I don’t care if I only see him that one night a week, I just want one night with a movie or dinner or snuggles so I can get my boyfriend time.

The rest of the time he is his own person, and I couldn’t really care less about what he does in that time.

Cover Image Credit: Grace Wilkowski

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The Last Goodbyes

A Little Too Late...Or Is It?
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Rebecca's Point of View:

I can't believe today's the day, it felt like just yesterday that I walked into Clair's Boutique for my first day on the job. Before I drive to the airport, I am going to stop at the store to say my last goodbyes to everyone. I don't want Alan and I to leave things as they are right now. We still haven't resolved the fight thag happened on Wednesday. I miss him so much and it hurts to know that we might never see eachother again. I just can't believe all that we've been through a fight is going to tear us apart. I almost lost him once, I don't want to lose him a second time.

As I enter the store, the first person I see is Clair. She walks over to me with a big smile on her face and engulfs me in a hug. When she pulls away she says, "I still can't believe you're leaving, we're going to miss you so much!"

"I can't believe I am either, I never thought an opportunity like this would come around. Where is Mr. Brooks? I was hoping to say goodbye to him too."

"He's been locked in his office since yesterday. He doesn't seem like he's in a good mood, but go ahead. Are you two going through something right now?"

"Yea, we're going through a rough patch."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, I hope you two can work it out!"

"Thanks, I really appreciate it." Then I turn away from her and head to his office. His door is open just a crack and I can see that his head is in his hands. I knock and I enter, "Hey, as you know I am going to leave for the airport, but I wanted to stop by and say my goodbyes. So I guess this is it, do you have anything you want to say to me before I go, probably forever!"

He doesn't look at me but says, "Have a safe trip and good luck in New York."

"Oh, thanks." Before I leave, I stand in the doorway and look at him, but he's still avoiding eye contact. So I turn and leave. I was hoping he would say 'come back,' but he never does.

Clair's Point of View:

After Clair left I was trying to think of a plan to get Mr. Brooks attention off from her. So I decided to find him and eat lunch together. When I come across him, he's already in the break room sulking. "How are you doing?"

"Ok."

"I don't mean to pry but is everything alright between you and Rebecca?"

"No, it's not."

"I'm here if you want to talk about it."

"I just can't believe that everything we've been through she'd go behind my back. She means the world to me, but I don't know if I can trust her anymore. We had a big fight on Wednesday and we didn't resolve it. Now she's going to be in New York at her new job, and I'll probably never see her again."

"I'm so sorry, yeah you two have been through a lot together. It sucks that a small fight would tear your two apart. But You're right you can't trust her anymore, you're too good for her anyways."

"Yeah we have been through a lot together and you're right, one little fight shouldn't make or break us. Couples go through this all the time and they push through it and they don't give up."

"Wait, what? Did you hear about the second part I said?"

"I have to go and too that plane before it's too late." He quickly jumps out of the chair, sprints to his office to get his keys, and runs out the door.

Mr. Brooks Point of View:

I drive as fast as I can, hoping the police don't pull me over. I hope I can make it in time to stop her from leaving. I finally reach the airport, find a parking spot, and sprint towards the entrance. I quickly find a screen with the gate numbers listed and I scan for the one to New York. I find it and run to gate number 36. As I'm sprinting to the gate, I hear an announcement saying, "Last call for gate number 36 to New York City." I start to panic and sprint even faster trying to avoid all of the people. I reach the gate and the doors are closed, I turn to the assistant and ask her, "Is there anyway I can board the plane?"

"Sorry, but once the doors shut, they stay closed. But if you need more assistance you can go to the courtesy desk."

"Look, I'm sorry but you don't understand. This isn't my flight, my girlfriend is on there. We had a huge fight, and now she's leaving to New York and I may never see her again!"

"I'm sorry sir, but the plane is almost ready for take off."

I notice the plane moving towards the runway and I realize it's too late. "Thank you for your time." I look through one of the big windows and watch her leave with tears running down my face I was too late.


Cover Image Credit: Hospitality Lawyers.com

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