I attend a university where girls seem to think it’s incredibly necessary to be engaged by spring semester of their senior year. My sorority seemed to celebrate a new engagement every week this last semester, and my social media feeds are full of newly weds. Don't be misled; there's nothing wrong with finding who you are supposed to be with at a young age. Enjoy who God has given you. I'm not one to condemn that. My mother married my father at 20, and my parents have been happily married for over 30 years now. Obviously, that works for some people. That's their story, but that doesn't have to be everyone's.
To be honest, dating can be terrifying. There can be several burned bridges, lots of tears, and multiple regrets. I’ve been brokenhearted, and I've also thought I was in love. I’ve come crawling to my best friend’s house, sobbing. I’ve done the whole “eat all the Ben and Jerry’s you can” and “let’s scream Taylor Swift at the top of our lungs.” And it rocked. And it helped. For a little while.
Eventually, those quick fixes faded, and try as my best friends might, their back rubs and picture-burning-emotional-highs faded. The plans I had made failed me, and I ended up disappointed and scared to get hurt again.
The scariest part for me is that my future seems to have a massive question mark in it, and certainly not just for my love life. I don't know what friendships are ahead, what lessons I will learn, what jobs I will accept or be rejected from, or what moments I get to celebrate. My future is a mystery. The unknown--it terrifies me.
I struggle with control, and I struggle with planning out my future. I desperately want to know what tomorrow holds for me. I like to plan things out, and I get so frustrated when my plan doesn’t work. I convince myself that I’ve prayed through it, and that, yes, my plan matches God's plan. But Isaiah 55:8-9 tells us,
“'For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are your ways my ways,’”
declares the Lord.
'For the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are my ways higher than your ways,
and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.’”
My plan is not good enough for me, and I’m so happy for that. If I can convince myself that my plan is so wonderful, but God tells us that He has something higher and better, imagine what that plan looks like; imagine the wonders He has planned. I must learn to rest in His wonders and learn to rest in the unknown. Truly, I don't understand some of the things He has allowed me to experience. I don't understand any need for heartbreak, but I don't need to understand everything. I know my God. I know He is faithful, and I know He loves me. I know His plans are great, and I know He is working for my eventual good. He has set eternity in my heart for a reason, and I will wait for Him to reveal His plan to me. I will continuously seek Him every morning, searching what new lesson He has for me. The beauty of the unknown is that I am forced to trust Him.
Rest in His plan. Rest in His eternal sight and His flawless plan. Do not be stagnant; go where He sends you. Get rid of the days of making your own plans.
Isaiah 55:8-9 -- Ecclesiastes 3:11 -- Proverbs 3:5-6
