Life is crazy. One day you have everything mapped out in regards to your future, and the next – everything changes.
As a college student, it seems like we are constantly worrying about our futures. Whether it be academic success, financial security, employment stability, or the prospect of a healthy and loving family; there is always something continually to stress about. And those are just the major aspects of life. A lot of the time, however, we are concerned about tedious stuff. Should I study or sleep tonight? Should I order takeout or save my last ten dollars? Am I surrounding myself with loyal people? What are we doing tonight?
The craziest concept to wrap my head around is that, at this point in my life, I cannot have everything completely figured out. I'm a perfectionist. I like being organized and productive. Moving forward with what I had conspired for the week relieves stress. Accomplishing my tasks, as well as laying the further ground for my future, is something that I find comfort within. Even though there are times that being bogged down with a heavy workload can be overwhelming, a vision of the end result drives me. It sucks to have a ton of stuff to do. But as you check stuff off your seemingly endless to-do list, you get a sense of alleviation. Even though the motivation may not be at an all time high, it feels good to be productive for yourself.
The only problem is, nothing goes as planned. I'll start my week with a rough plan on Sunday night; but by around 2 PM on Monday, I'm winging it. Studying for Wednesday's quiz isn't going to be a tonight thing – it'll wait until tomorrow. I'll do my homework tomorrow before class instead of tonight. I think I have all this time, but stuff pops up: I need a nap, I want to hang out with friends, I need to run to the store. The list can go on and on. And so can the list of tasks, as it never only extends to academics. There are always personal matters that get in the way of my predicted schedule.
We want it all, and we cannot have it.
The reality of it is: nothing will ever go exactly as planned. Sorry to shoot you down if you have not realized that already, but it simply will not. For the most part, we're eighteen, nineteen, twenty, twenty-one, and twenty-two-year-old kids in college. We have a ridiculous amount of schoolwork to do while also logging as many hours as possible at a part time job. We hate being home, but always ask our parents for as much assistance as possible. We live off Ramen noodles and have maybe twelve dollars in our wallet – on a good day. The only thing that we have a lot of is debt. We cannot make rational decisions all the time; we act on impulse, slack off, waste time, spend money recklessly, and either act too selfishly, or too selflessly.
There are so many things we do not even know about ourselves. I cannot tell you what I am going to do tomorrow, let alone in five years, or for the rest of my life. I'm not specifically speaking about a career either –but about who I want to be as a human being. What am I going to do on and for this planet as long as I am here? Honestly, who knows? I can tell you what I want to do this week, this month, this year. I can tell you what I want to do in school, at work, what internships I want to obtain, what connections I intend to make. I can tell you how much time I was to spend with my family, what stupid stuff I want to do with my friends, or what dates I want to take my girlfriend on. But I don't know how everything is going to play out. I don't know what will emerge in my life tomorrow, either positive or negative, that will avert me from my plan.
And you know what. It's okay.
I'm in college. I'm supposed to be figuring myself out. I'm supposed to have all the goals and aspirations in the world, but simultaneously still be a kid. I still have to live my life and have fun and screw up. Of course, I want to be as productive for my future as possible. And honestly, I try to. But that is not what happens. I mess up. I forget, I slack off, I make the wrong choice and regret it later. It happens.
Of course, I'm not saying it is okay to just live your lives day to day and have no ambition or long-term goals; but there is only so much we can do at this age. I try to plan most aspects of my life, I truly do, but to be honest, at the end of the day I finagle everything. Not because I want to, but because that is simply how it turns out. That is how the world works. There are so many external influences that alter my plan. The thing is, as much as I intend for life to proceed as I would like – it does not. You cannot anticipate everything, and certainly cannot plan for everything.
Life is too crazy and too hectic to have everything you envision come true. You can achieve all of your wildest goals; but it won't happen how you think it will, that's just the hand that life deals you. You have to roll with it and improvise constantly. Just don't think you're at a loss. It may seem like it's not doing good, but you have to step back and look at it from a non-bias perspective. This is hard because it is your own life, so you always want it to go the best way possible. But if you look at it from an outside perspective, you may see that it isn't as bad as you think it's simply just different than you thought. Embrace it, go with it, and figure it out from there. Plan for your plan to change, because it most definitely will.
