Going into my first summer as a college graduate was the most boring summer I’ve ever had in my lifetime. I was going crazy stressing over what to do.

Meanwhile, my little brother Domenick was away at camp for five weeks. Adriana, a girl living with my family because of being in foster care, was also away at college for five weeks for an orientation program.

Although everyone had something to do, I was stuck on waiting for something to happen; I would react to things happening with an annoyed emotion or desperation to become involved. When I got back into doing physical therapy and eventually began therapy with a social worker, I made an impulsive purchase on Amazon on the same planner like I had used the previous year.

Although I did have a new planner and got my life back in order with colorful pens, there was still something missing from my life. I still needed something to do and I was driving myself crazy in trying to find something to do.

Somehow, a spark of interest came when bullet journal came up when I would either Google or watch YouTube videos to go into planning more. The idea of doing a bullet journal is so interesting for me as I was bored out of my mind and I wanted to find something to do to keep myself busy. Like some planner addicts that I have found online, the people who do bullet journaling have way too much time on their hands to make a simple journal more colorful and flashy with the assistance of stickers, tapes, and fancy writing.

The first time I tried doing a bullet journal, I completely failed at that because I copied layouts by watching YouTube videos and attempted to be artistic. From that moment, I lost hope with the idea of doing a bullet journal.

All hope was not lost as a BuzzFeed article on using a bullet journal for mental health helped to give me the motivation to try coming up with a bullet journal again. At the time I read the article and regained motivation, I was being taught on how to write down my triggers whenever I felt angry, anxious, or depressed. It was that moment when I realized that if I wanted to do a bullet journal, I am going to have to do it for me and nobody else.

Since starting a bullet journal in September, I’ve made up and included a monthly layout, monthly habit tracker, habit tracker notes, a “brain dump” for when I run low on ideas, an income/expense tracker as I am now working, weekly logs, and meal plans for each week. At the time I write this, I am going into my second month of doing a bullet journal and preparing an unused binder for a bullet journal in 2017. Unlike what the typical planner can only do, having a bullet journal completes my life in more ways than I thought it would. Not only am I staying on top of everything between work, physical therapy, therapy, and aspiring to go to graduate school one day, but I am also keeping track of everything that happens in my everyday life. In 2017, I am planning to include more trackers and various plans to continue staying on top of everything.

Because of using a bullet journal and dedicating my free time to plan what is going on, my control on emotions have improved and there is still progress being made. While I have pretty much failed on being a healthier person in 2016, I am determined to make it a committed goal of mine when it is 2017. While being healthy is not just about the numbers, the foods we eat, and the exercises we do, being healthy is also keeping track of our mental health and well-being.

Despite how much we all want to be artistic and bring a pop of color into our lives, we also have to learn that the bullet journal has to work for us.

As I’ve mentioned earlier, the bullet journal will have to be something that works for only us and nobody else. Despite how there is the addicting thought of sharing what has been created, we also have to remember that we have to make decisions when choosing what we want our bullet journals to be like. Sure, our first bullet journal will be messy, but it’s about practice, not perfection.

With using a bullet journal, we are practicing what we want our life to be like in a healthier sense, instead of tending to the expectation of being perfect.