I know this feeling that you've been having: you're at the point where you can't seem to find your place in the world. You just can't find something that you're good at, or if you do, you may feel that someone does it better. It probably feels like either everyone sees your ability, or they see nothing except for your slip-ups and defeat. If you read that last sentence and were able to characterize yourself with either statement, you have found yourself in the right place.

I aim to aid in altering the way you perceive yourself, the world, and the probability of YOUR success. In particular, I want you to continue reading with the mindset that there is more to life than being the best of the best. You're probably not going to find something that you are a professional at- I know I haven't. There are going to be things you feel that you can't do, but more importantly, there are going to be things that you CAN and WILL do.

I'd like to proceed by using someone who is very dear to me as a model of "if at first you don't succeed, try and try again." Not all of us are dealt the best hand of cards, I wasn't, and you most likely may not have been either. We always say that the people who have gotten it easy are the "lucky" ones, but are they? In my opinion, the ones who have to work hard toward their success are the ones who consistently surprise themselves, and that in itself is a blessing. My grandfather was born and raised in Cohoes, a small town in New York State- one of four boys born to Polish parents. Like most families back then, they did not have a great deal of wealth, but for them, having one another fulfilled all of their needs. My grandfather, who is essentially the biggest influence on my prosperity, has shown me values just from his dedication to achieving what he wanted. Amidst the end of his second grade school year, his teacher informed him that he unfortunately would not be able to continue on to the next grade and would need to repeat that year- something that is devastating for any child. Even now, more than 65 years later, he remembers everything about that day, and that just goes to show how much the feeling of defeat truly impacts you. From that day on, he persevered and became who is he today; most call him Dr. John Len, but I just call him Poppy. He was named Valedictorian of his high school, where he continued on to Union College to soon receive his medical degree. Circling back to his second year in grade school, you may think that is not much failure to overcome- but years later, again, he again found himself face to face with another road block. When applying to medical school, he was not accepted at first try, but knew what he wanted and he did not give up. He enrolled at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute (RPI), and thereafter was accepted to Albany Medical School. He made his dream come true and became a General Surgeon, which personally I'd never be able to do.

I use my Poppy as an example, because he had the stamina to not only proceed through the disappointments he was faced with, but he became exactly what he had set out for. School is hard, and it is not for everyone, we all can agree to this. Truth be told, I used to suck at everything- school, sports, making friends, the list could go on forever. There are still some things I still have to work on, like my coping skills, and definitely my particularly tempered actions and reactions. I used to want to be famous, an actress, and maybe I could have, but I chose a different path for myself- I am going to be a lawyer. If you knew me even as little as five years ago, I would have laughed WITH you at the idea of a pursuit to law school- trust me, no one would have thought this would be happening. I am not who I am because of my failures, thankfully, because there are a copious amount of them, but because I want to continue to learn who I am and what I want. I have chosen to succeed, I strive through failure, I continue through pain and I will not give up. I am a daughter, I am a sister, I am a sexual abuse victim, I am a survivor,I am a friend and I am a student, but most importantly, I am ME. You can be anything in the world, but first, be you- enjoy the fact that there is nothing else in the universe like you. Do not let the bad in the world alter the way you see yourself, because I promise, there is far more good out there that you will one day see. You may not be to the point of giving up on school, but whatever you feel is breaking you down, I want you to think about the outcome of going forward. Don't ever look back on your life and say "I should've done better" but instead, just do it while you can.

You are not the person that you see in the mirror when you're up late at night crying over something silly. You are not who you think your misfortunes define you as, you are simply, YOU. You might suffer from anxiety, depression, addiction, or other setbacks, but that is not who you are. You are not defined by the way your emotions and self-image may convince you to perceive yourself. You are perfectly imperfect, a mere image of anything you'd like to be. I have found that one of the greatest things in life is the fact that there is no one like you, and you can pave your life exactly the way you want it to be. It's not going to be easy, nothing ever is, but I'm telling you, it is going to be worth it. So go after what you want, eat the doughnut that you think you don't need, scream, cry, laugh and love. Do all of the things we truly are lucky enough to do. But most importantly, don't give up. You will soon grasp that star you've been reaching for. Be yourself, love yourself, and most importantly, appreciate yourself.