Before I dive deep into the rant that is favoritism, I'd like to point out that I'm not into the whole "participation" method. I don't believe that everyone who participates deserves the same credit as those who go above and beyond what is expected of them. I believe that the people with the most talent deserve the highest rewards.
That is why it's extremely painful for me to see people with gifts who get continuously shot down by people who are supposed to provide them with opportunities. Whether they be teachers, coaches or even family members, many people give up passions, hobbies and even dreams due to the actions of the individuals they look to for guidance.
I come from a small town where last names mean everything. Whether people in that town chose to believe it or not, where you came from mattered much more than who you were.
I had played the same sport from kindergarten until high school, always practicing, making myself better. I was told I had talent by every single coach I had, all the way up until freshman year when the varsity coach had me on the roster, but rarely let me play.
At first I wondered if it was my ability. Had I gotten overly confident and needed a reality check? Then I saw other players who deserved to play but sat on the bench right along side me. The entire team was made up of individuals that the coach had personal ties to. Anyone who didn't know them prior to high school would sit on the bench.
It hurt to see a sport I'd grown to love and years of training and practice be thrown in not only my face, but other players as well. Even though I had hopes of playing in college, I knew that would never happen without some varsity playing time, so I turned in my jersey and never looked back.
Teachers, sadly, have an ability to do this too. Someone very close to me had a family reputation that wasn't the greatest, and even though they went on to achieve great things after high school, they were treated as if they were the dirt under the old, brick foundation of the school. Musicians in band and choir dropped the elective altogether because solos were going to the same four students. Someone with equal or even better talents were constantly being thrown behind the curtain rather than put under the spotlight.
Why does this happen? Why do talented individuals get thrown under the bus when it's clear they have the ability and potential? Why can't we appreciate people for their skills in the ways that they deserve without this pretentious bias?
Maybe I'm hurt and maybe I'm reflecting on a time that I took very personally, but after several conversations with others who experienced almost the exact same thing, I realize that this isn't just about people wanting "participation ribbons" and to feel like they belong. This is about people who have dreams, ambitions and plans that are being crushed by someone who's soul purpose is to enhance them and provide opportunities to reach them.
I can only hope that the future children I see in this world, whether they are my own or not, are treated with respect, fairness and true appreciation for the talents that they deserve to be recognized for.
