It’s that time of the month! The time when we get to remember that we have a female reproductive system. (Like we needed reminding.) A lovely 1-3 weeks, isn’t it???
Yeah, I’m funny, I know. It’s the suckiest time of the month. Some suffer for only a few days, maybe a week, but for others, PMS starts up to two weeks before bleeding. Bleeding can last really any amount of time (I once bled for over three weeks.). Isn’t female anatomy amazing?!
Here are 32 things that you’ve probably said, done or thought during this wonderful time of the month.
1. Am I being emotional because this matters or because of PMS?
It gets much harder to hold anything in your body in the days leading up to “aunt flow."
3. I cannot stand _____ today!
Some people just get 20x more annoying than normal.
4. I really really want some fruit right now.
So then you get fruit.
5. Nope, I need meat… lots.
So then you get meat.
6. OK, this all sounds horrible. I’m just gonna eat a salad and be healthy.
Then you get pasta instead.
7. Oh my goodness, that puppy is the cutest ever.
I just can’t believe that animals are so cute and puppies are so pure and beautiful and I just love them a lot. LOOK HE’S ROLLING IN THE GRASS HE’S SO CUTE!
8. Seriously, I can’t believe _____ did that!
I know I just said I love him, but I seriously hate him now. Like what kind of person does that.
9. OK, wait, I love him again. He apologized.
Sometimes, it really does make things okay again.
10. OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH.
Honestly, when cramps kick in, I just want to curl up in a ball and try to sleep.
11. Oh no did I start? I didn’t pack anything today!
Even though it’s five days early, you still expect the worst.
12. Nope, just butt sweat.
This becomes an even harder thing to determine when it’s warm outside.
13. OK, I’ve got two days until I usually start, can I get away with white pants?
Better not even try it to be honest.
14. Today’s the first day of death!
Probably a huge blood clot. Hopefully.
19. Ew ew ew, it touched me.
I know it comes from my own body, but like c’mon, still not pleasant.
20. I wonder if other people can smell me.
Maybe if I just change it, the smell will go away.
21. WHY DOES THE SMELL NEVER GO AWAY??
I’m just gonna squeeze my legs together tightly.
22. I think I’m going to pass out.
Sometimes cramps get really intense and you’ve just gotta call it quits for the day.
23. Do I have any chocolate?
No? OK, gotta go get some right now!
24. Okay, please tell me that was a lot of flow and not pee.
Honestly, it’s really hard to tell.
25. Yup, there went another pair of underwear.
Just be thankful that it wasn’t a “good pair.”
26. I just cried for 30 minutes.
Wait, why was I crying again?
27. It’s getting kind of light, maybe I’m almost done?
Oh, wait, nope. That was very wrong.
28. THIS HAS BEEN THE LONGEST WEEK OF MY LIFE.
How am I supposed to go to school, work, and have a social life while my insides are literally coming out of my body???
29. I think I’m finally done, but I’m not risking it.
Panty liners are bae.
30. Oh my goodness, cute underwear again!
One of the most rewarding times of the cycle honestly.
31. Wow, I have lots of people I feel like I should apologize to.
Honestly, it’s hard to believe how hormones make emotions go so crazy.
32. I can’t believe I have to go through that all over again in like two weeks.
Honestly, menopause doesn’t sound so bad!
Every person is different, but overall, periods aren’t fun for anyone. From the mildest to the most chronically painful, periods are really just an inconvenience. Next time someone you know is on her period, buy her some chocolate for goodness' sake!
