When I was in high school I was always the single friend. I was the person who sat to the side during every slow dance, saw how heartbroken my friends were when their boyfriend dumps them, and how toxic relationships ruined their self-esteem. While being single all of high school was lonely at times, it was the best thing for me.
It made realize the true definition of love.
To girls in a relationship love is the way their boyfriend made them feel. While I hate to admit it, at one point during high school I was that girl. I loved the way he would text back heart-eyes after a selfie I sent him and how he would shoot me a good morning text. This love was as artificial as it sounds, because it never went past texting.
My definition of love in high school was a boy who didn't deserve my attention in the first place and someone who liked me for my appearance. When I was out of a relationship I realized that it was not worth it in the first place because I truly didn't feel loved.
When I was single I longed for the true feeling of love.
What I didn't realize was that love was all around me.
One of my favorite movies is "Love Actually."
In the beginning of the movie, there is a scene that shows people hugging, crying and kissing in the airport. You hear actor Hugh Grant's voice say these words:
"Whenever I get gloomy with the state of the world, I think about the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport. General opinion's starting to make out that we live in a world of hatred and greed, but I don't see that. It seems to me that love is everywhere. Often it's not particularly dignified or newsworthy, but it's always there – fathers and sons, mothers and daughters, husbands and wives, boyfriends, girlfriends, old friends. When the planes hit the Twin Towers, as far as I know, none of the phone calls from the people on board were messages of hate or revenge – they were all messages of love. If you look for it, I've got a sneaky feeling you'll find that love actually is all around."
I am particularly fond of this quote because it's how I've always felt about love. Love is not just a feeling you get from a significant other it's the feeling you get from any loved one.
Love and soul mates aren't always about romantic relationships.
They're also about the love you get from your friends who are by your side when you need them. About someone being happy for your achievements just as much as you would thier, and the feeling of true uninterrupted gratefulness. Its the feeling you get when your best friend is by your side in times of trouble, and the feeling of running to your mom after a long hiatus.
It about someone truly caring for you and your emotional well-being.
When I was down in the dumps because of an irrelevant boy and my friend was there for me, I was witnessing love.
When my friend bought me coffee after a rough week, I was witnessing love.
Being single for most of my life has been very lonely and isolated. I was the person who stayed quiet when girls gossiped about their relationship horror stories. I've never had a valentine or someone surprise me with those obnoxiously big stuffed bears. However, I realized that I didn't need a boy to tell me my worth. As I was single I discovered more about myself than I would in a relationship.
To the high school age girl who wants to be in a relationship like I did, do not worry. Someone will come and make you feel like you've never felt before. Do not rush into a relationship because you think that you need to be in one. You don't need to be with a boy to realize what love means.
While you might not realize it, you have love right in front of you.
