Things We Wish We Could Say To People Without Anxiety

Things We Wish We Could Say To People Without Anxiety

The things we wish we could explain to those who question anxiety.

"Why are you anxious..?" You ask me.

What's funny is, you have no idea that in my head I'm asking myself the exact same thing.

'...Why am I anxious?' I think to myself.

The truth is, I have no idea. If I knew why I was anxious, I probably would have figured out how to fix it. How to make it go away. How to make it stop interrupting my every day life.. But the truth is I don't know. Life throws me new curve balls every day and I'm going with the flow just like anyone else. Maybe just a little more on edge than some people..

We all have things we'd love to say to people even though we know we can't. Or maybe we could, but we avoid the confrontation because the mere thought of confrontation sends our heads spiraling into a place we'd just rather avoid at all cost.

If you suffer from anxiety, from that pins and needles, chest tightening, overwhelming sense of fear; these may be things you find yourself wishing you could say to people when they question it or offer advice.

"Do you really think this is fun for me? Do you really think I enjoy the constant chest tightening and pins and needles feeling in my hands and feet?" I think people are under the misconception that anxiety is fun. Or that it's a form of attention. Trust me, I'd rather not have your attention when I'm going through this. I'd rather you not know that I feel as if the earth around me is caving in and I have no where to escape. There is nothing fun about anxiety, and I'm searching for everything possible to help me cope with it. It's hard to explain to someone that doesn't understand it or even to those that assume they do.

"Don't you think I've tried just about every thought possible to make this stop? If I could just stop thinking about it, you wouldn't have to tell me to stop because it wouldn't be an issue!" Unfortunately it's not that easy for those of us with anxiety, which is why I go to counseling. I'm learning how to cope with my anxiety. While I know you're trying to help, it's doing the exact opposite. I try and think about millions of other things when I'm anxious..

But it's like riding a roller-coaster that I can't get off of. I can't get off till it's done. There is no emergency stop, there are twists and turns, highs and lows and I'm just riding along. It looks like I'm fine on the outside, maybe even enjoying the ride. But truth be told, I hate roller-coasters. On the inside, I'm screaming for it to stop. Screaming over and over again to some imaginary figure I'm hoping can come along and stop this Hell for me. But I just ride along till it's done.

Sure, I can sit in the roller-coaster and try to picture something as simple as sitting on a boat on the lake. Something calming and relaxing; but the second that roller-coaster flips me upside down, I'm back to reality. That I'm stuck in a roller-coaster that decides for me when I can get off.

"Yes, there is medicine for that. Yes, I'm on medicine.. And no, it's not fun." Now while my medicinal solution is only temporary, as I am getting through post part-um depression, anxiety and OCD, some people aren't as lucky. They have to take this medicine every day and trust me... There is nothing fun about it. The days I forget to take it are terrible. I'm on edge, only a few hours without it and my body already goes through withdrawal. Anti-depressants or anti-anxiety medication is not fun. It's not something to aspire to be on, and if you can avoid it at all cost, please do. It's made me an emotionless zombie most days and that's no way to go through life.

And medicine is only a small part in over-coming it. It takes a counselor, a strong support system and maybe even some significant lifestyle changes. Medicine is merely a tiny piece in this giant puzzle we're solving.

So I ask you, please, don't judge your friend, family member or significant other if they say they're feeling anxious, suffer from anxiety or go through an anxiety attack. It's a roller-coaster that we can't get off of. We just learn to ride alone. But some days, the ride is too hard and we may seem on edge, or angry. But we're not.

We're just physically and mentally tired from this roller-coaster and our patience has ran thin. But we're thankful for the patience you share with us. We promise we're learning how to cope with it. It just may take a little while. And while we know you're questions come from a place of love and concern, sometimes all we need is a shoulder to cry on. Or for someone to tell us, it's gonna be okay. Or to say, I'll sit beside you on this roller-coaster and take this head on with you.

I promise, that is the most you can do to help. And while sometimes we may forget to tell you, we're beyond thankful for you and we love you.

Popular Right Now

A Love Letter To The Girl Who Cares Too Much About Everyone But Herself

This one's for you.

You, the girl with a heart full of love and no place big enough to store it all.

Our generation is so caught up in this notion that it's "cool" not to care about anything or anyone. I know you've tried to do just that. I'm sure there was a brief moment where you genuinely believed you were capable of not caring, especially since you convinced everyone around you that you didn't. But that just isn't true, is it? Don't be ashamed of this, don't let anyone ridicule you for having emotions. After everything life has put you through you have still remained soft. This is what makes you, you. This is what makes you beautiful. You care so deeply and love so boldly and it is incredible, never let the world take this from you.

Have Your Voice Heard: Become an Odyssey Creator

You are the girl who will give and give and give until you have absolutely nothing left. Some may see this as a weakness, an inconvenience, the perfect excuse to walk all over you. I know you try to make sense of it all, why someone you cared so much about would treat you the way they did. You'll make excuses for them, rationalize it and turn it all around on yourself. You'll tell yourself that maybe just maybe they will change even though you know deep down they won't. You gave them everything you had and it still feels as if they took it all and ran. When this happens, remind yourself that you are not a reflection of those who cannot love you. The way that people treat you does not define who you are. Tell yourself this every day, over and over until it sticks. Remind yourself that you are gold, darling, and sometimes they will prefer silver and that is OK.

I know you feel guilty when you have to say no to something, I know you feel like you are letting everyone you love down when you do. Listen to me, it is not your responsibility to tend to everyone else's feelings all the time. By all means, treat their feelings with care, but remember it is not the end of the world when you cannot help them right away. Remember that it is OK to say no. You don't have to take care of everyone else all the time. Sometimes it's OK to say no to lunch with your friends and just stay home in bed to watch Netflix when you need a minute for yourself. I know sometimes this is much easier said than done because you are worried about letting other people down, but please give it a try.

With all of this, please remember that you matter. Do not be afraid to take a step back and focus on yourself. You owe yourself the same kind of love and patience and kindness and everything that you have given everyone else. It is OK to think about and put yourself first. Do not feel guilty for taking care of yourself. You are so incredibly loved even when it doesn't feel like it, please always remember that. You cannot fill others up when your own cup is empty. Take care of yourself.

Cover Image Credit: Charcoal Alley

Related Content

Connect with a generation
of new voices.

We are students, thinkers, influencers, and communities sharing our ideas with the world. Join our platform to create and discover content that actually matters to you.

Learn more Start Creating

6 Simple Steps You Can Take To Start Overcoming Your Morning Anxiety

Getting through your rough mornings the right way.


I have struggled with anxiety almost my entire life. Anxiety feels like you are drowning in a pool and no one can see that you can't swim. It takes a lot of work and self control every single day to overcome anxiety. The worst time of day for me and I think for a lot of other people is in the morning. Your mind races at night when you sleep and you wake up and feel as if a train has hit you. Here are some life hacks I use everyday to help with my anxiety.

1. Go to Sleep Early and Wake Up Early 

I know this sounds kind of lame for most of you. But, if you are a sufferer of morning anxiety, making changes to the times you get to sleep and when you wake up will be beneficial to your body's mental state.

2. Sleep with the Fan On 

According to sleeping in a cold room is helpful in areas of mood enhancement, reducing stress, and even prevents insomnia. For anxiety suffers, we all know that staying asleep at night is a process and it is often impossible to stay asleep because your mind is racing all night. Making sure your room is cold can be beneficial in lessen your morning anxiety.

3. Avoid Using Your Phone an Hour Before You Sleep

As young adults we often are drawn to checking our phones constantly. Whether it be for a snap chat or a text. How ever, taking your eyes off your phone before you go to sleep is only going to make you feel better in the morning. Getting in the right mindset and straying away from stimulating behaviors before you sleep will help with the anxiety.

4. Yoga in the Morning 

This is one that I do every single morning without fail. Doing yoga does not mean you need to attend a full blown hour class of hot yoga every morning. But, doing some small stretches when you first wake to make connections with your mind and body will give you a nice start to your morning. Thanking yourself for waking up to the day and giving yourself a little boost of motivation.

5. Upbeat Music in the Morning 

It's all about your morning playlist! Now I know some people really enjoy their silence in the morning and that is okay! Personally the first thing I do in the morning is turn on my speaker and play some really good music. I will always lean more towards upbeat music because it gets me excited for the adventures of the day.

6. Have a Green Drink instead of Coffee

All my fellow coffee lovers will not like this one… I LOVE coffee, when I say I LOVE it I mean I would drink it as a replacement for water if I could. Coffee actually is not the best thing for you. Having a green drink with spinach, pineapples, and orange juice will give you a natural energy boost and also give you some good calories first thing in the morning.


Related Content

Facebook Comments