How many women realize their value? We can start to answer that question by asking it to ourselves. I know I’ve struggled with my worth more than once. If you’re looking for your worth to be filled by a man, it just won’t work. At the beginning, it may feel like you’ve found the exact missing piece to your puzzle, but over time the guy will disappoint. I’ve read a book called, “Every Young Woman’s Battle” by Stephen Arterburn and Shannon Ethridge, and I read a quote by Shannon that I liked so much, I decided to write it down and nudge it in the corner of my mirror:
"…The better person you become, the better person you’ll attract. If you’re a godly, goal-oriented individual, you are going to attract the same. But if your life amounts to nothing but finding someone to fill that vacuum in your soul, you are going to attract another desperate person.” –Shannon Ethridge
“I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.” –Philippians 4:12-13
God made us to long for Him. We are dependent on Christ and interdependent with man, meaning without Christ we can do nothing, and with man we work together. The whole ‘Women rule the world’ locution (phrase) equals to women being misunderstood (hold with me). Just like man was never meant to dominate woman, woman is not meant to dominate man. The Bible verse that says, “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord” does not mean women drop down and give men twenty. It means men are in authority, a picture of how Christ is the head of the church [believers] (verse 23). Wives submitting to their husbands means men have responsibility in leading the household. Listening to him and giving support is part of our role as women. God made both men and women to work together — be interdependent.
To make this clearer, take a look at God’s creation of man and woman in Genesis 2. The second half of verse 20 does not say ‘But for Adam no woman was found that he could dominate’ or “But for Adam no woman was found he could rule over with misery’. Here’s what the second half of verse 20 in Genesis 2 says:
“But for Adam no suitable helper was found.”
Once we understand the importance of being content in our personal relationship with Christ and know our identity of who Christ created men and women to be, we can have a healthy desire for wanting a boyfriend and being married someday. There is nothing wrong with having those desires. I desire a boyfriend and really want to get married someday, but I want my focal point to be Christ. He knows what’s absolute best for my life — guy or not.
Here’s how pearls and pigs come into play: Matthew 7:6. I never really understood this verse until I went to a prayer retreat at a Christian camp. As my friend was leaving to go home, she said “Don’t give your pearl to a swine”, explaining that a swine was a pig. I told her that reminded me of a verse in the Bible, and together we discussed it and how it meant we were pearls and guys who wouldn’t treat us like pearls were like pigs. About a week or so later, I was stretching in my Yoga class and looked down to see I was wearing my sacrificial love necklace along with a pearl necklace.
Then I thought of it.
I’ve never been a big fan of purity rings because I thought of it as a way of telling others and/or myself not to have sex. I still don't think I need that reminder, but I realize now that purity is much more than sex. Purity involves our thoughts, (lust, putting guy(s) above God) actions, (inappropriate flirting, crossing boundaries, having sex) and outer appearance (how we dress). [*Please know that being sexually assaulted does not count]. I decided that from that day in Yoga and forward I would wear my pearl necklace as a purity symbol to not settle for any less than what God has in store for me (if He has marriage in my future). If He doesn’t, then I can still keep my purity and not waste it with a man I was never meant to be with. I decided I would write a letter to my future husband telling about my pearl and how I want him to have it because I believe he loves me and treats me with respect. When we’re married, I’ll give him the letter with my pearl necklace pinned to it.
If this is an idea you’re interested in, go for it! God showed me this a couple of weeks ago, and I love it. God wants His best for our lives, not second best. Join the community of girls to hold onto your pearl and save it for the oyster that will treasure it. If you feel your purity has been tainted, it’s not too late. Although I’ve never crossed physical boundaries, I have had lustful thoughts and put guys above God before. We can make the commitment now to not settle. Our pearl (self) is God’s always. He is like the ocean. All His oysters and pearls live in Him. Make sure the oyster you’re after is actively pursuing God. “I go to church” guy does not mean he is pearl-worthy material. If you love Jesus, you will want a man who puts God above his very life, and if you love Jesus, you will not lower God’s standards to fit your I-want-a-boyfriend-right-now. (Ouch? Yeah, but truth).
I love pearls, so to close, I want to share how a pearl is made. It’s pretty awesome and relates in a deeper meaning to this message. I find it neat that God made the first woman from a man’s rib. I like to use analogies… let’s represent the oyster as a handsome man like we did above. The pearl represents the lovely lady. The pearl is made from the oyster to help it fight off parasites and other irritants. How cool is this?! Another affirmation that God made men and women to work together. Much of God’s creation relates back to his favorite design — us. How precious, people! Praise God for our miraculous bodies! Treasure your body even if you stay single. Our bodies are not our own (1 Corinthians 16:9). God made you awesome - guy or no guy. Here’s a couple of different videos, showing how pearls are made from oysters:
