On my mother’s birthday 19 years ago, I was baptized into the Catholic Church. For 15 years, I went to Catholic schools. In grade school, I went to Mass weekly and received all the sacraments of initiation. In high school, all students took mandatory theology classes (regardless of individual religious beliefs) and celebrated Mass monthly in our auditorium. My senior class gathered to celebrate our last Mass together; we graduated in that same Church a few days later.
Though I’m grateful for attending Catholic schools, I say with absolutely no regret that I’m happy to be out. In sophomore year, I was beginning to be burned out by years of theology classes. I realized that my personal beliefs on issues that the Catholic Church took a stake in did not align with it. I’m pro-choice, pro-death penalty, pro-gay marriage.
So once I grabbed my diploma after the graduation ceremony, I was done. Why have a religion if all I did was argue with it? No more uniforms, no more mandatory theology classes, no more having religion shoved down my throat.
I’m out. Peace.
Or so I thought I was.
I think it’s safe to say that I’m the only person on my floor who is in her first year of public education. I hear stories about public school and think that I can’t relate. I hear about how those that maintain a religion only do so because they are forced to by their parents. My parents don’t force me to be religious; I just happened to grow up around it. Unlike most of the people on my floor, I’ve never drunk, been drunk, or smoked (we’re all underage, by the way). My friends will tell you that I often declare that I don’t do those things because “I’m a child of God”. Yeah, it might be silly cop-out reason, but it’s true; the standard of my morals is created around a religious basis.
On occasion, my atheist suitemate comes into my room and asks me random questions about Catholicism. I answer her to the best of my knowledge, though sometimes she asks some strange questions.
“Does Jesus have a last name?”
I don’t know, but it’s definitely not Christ.
“Does Holy Water taste any different from regular water?”
I’ve never tasted Holy Water, but probably not.
“Were Jesus and Mary Magdalene a thing?”
"The Da Vinci Code" is not fact.
It’s fun answering those questions. Biblical stories and practices are my favorite things to talk about. I never enjoy talking about social issues and the Church’s stance on them.
But nowadays, the Church is more open due to its revolutionary new Pope, Francis. I adore the man; he is such a departure from the previous Popes, being more accepting of different forms of love and living a very modest lifestyle. He seems down to earth and approachable, and many people of many denominations (like my atheist roommate) have taken a liking to him. I follow him on Twitter and Instagram and love hearing what he says.
And that’s why I’ve been thinking about faith recently. I would have never thought that an atheist would be interested in hearing about my faith. I always thought that Church would remain stubborn with the changing times.
I have participated in a few ceremonies since then. Sometimes when I go home, I attend Mass at my local parish. On campus, I attended Mass at the Catholic Student Center a few months ago and am planning to celebrate Ash Wednesday there with my suitemate. I've prayed before a few meals. I want to go to confession again so that I can receive Eucharist as well.
Faith is still a touchy subject for me; I enjoy talking about it, but I don’t want to make myself feel “enslaved” to it once again. In the end, I can’t really say that I ever left the Church, but I can’t say that I’ve always cared either. However, it’s reassuring that the cross I’ve worn around my neck for over 10 years still means something in my life.
