Your Parents Are Not Always Right, You Don't HAVE To Listen To Everything They Say

Your Parents Are Not Always Right, You Don't HAVE To Listen To Everything They Say

Sometimes you got to tell them the truth.
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I think a lot of people are uncomfortable with this idea of going against their parents. However, I genuinely feel like parents are humans too - they make mistakes and need to be told how their actions are affecting other people, especially their kids, if they don’t notice it themselves.

Personally, my dad is very old fashioned in his thinking and it is really hard for me and my siblings to deal with his strict ideologies. When we were younger, standing up to my dad was incredibly difficult because it was intimidating. However, as my siblings and I got older, my sister led the way for all three of us to feel more comfortable calling out my dad.

We would call him out on his ways of comparing us siblings, putting so much pressure on us for school and his old-fashioned perspective on dating and relationships. The main reason why we felt so compelled to have these hard conversations with our dad was that we felt like what he was doing was stressing us out more than helping us.

We knew our dad had positive intentions but, in the end, how he was telling us to live our lives simply wasn’t feasible as we were growing up in a very different environment than how he was raised. Thus, we felt like we want to be able to do what we feel is right and need to inform our dad why we are going against what he is saying.

In my opinion, it wasn’t blatantly disobeying but rather feeling like what we were being told was wrong and not applicable to our lives.

I know some of you who are reading this probably get where I am coming from because we all have things that our parents have told us that we disagree with. Most people, I would assume, choose to just let it go in one ear and out the other. However, I encourage people to really talk to your parents about what you disagree with because I think it creates an opportunity for your parents to explain why they are doing what they are doing and for you to be able to express how you feel as a result.

Realistically, most times your parents won’t really change how they act because that is something that they have gotten comfortable doing a certain way. However, there will be times when you can make a difference in how they think and I think having that impact some of the time is worth having these conversations.

Overall, these types of conversations are never easy but I believe are necessary in some situations. The best advice I can give is to be honest and to be prepared for some backlash. If this is something you truly believe in, it may take more than one conversation to get through to your parents, but I encourage you to not give up. You have the right to express how you feel to your parents!

Cover Image Credit: Nidhi Singh

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Blocking Toxic Family Members Can Be Just What You Needed

It isn't an easy choice but it can be the most rewarding.

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I haven't written for the Odyssey in quite some time due to this large issue in my life that I feel some people may also need to hear. Watching your parents go through a divorce can be difficult in itself, but what about having to remove one of your parents from your life at the same time? It's something I don't think many people could imagine doing. However, sometimes you are forced into the position between choosing what is best for your mental health or what is expected of you. For me, I realized that I needed to put myself first.

I realized that I am my own person. How I present myself and how I act and what I choose to believe in is how the world perceives me. I was faced with a parent who did not let me be who I am. The way I thought had to be in line with theirs. What I openly spoke about had to be in line with that parent's thoughts. This also, in turn, meant I had to revolve how I was perceived to the world around that parent's family. I had to abide by these societal norms and do what someone else expected of me. I realized that was ludicrous.

This parent was also abusive. They were toxic and manipulative and I could not stand idly by and just take that from them while also trying to become an independent young adult. I was forced to sit and watch one of my parents transform into someone I didn't recognize anymore. I had to watch them ignore any kind of reality checks and continue to feign innocence. I watched one of my parents mentally manipulate people I once called family into believing lies. I kept my head down and shut my mouth and kept taking the abuse. Now I'm at a point where I can confidently say that I am no longer afraid.

I was forced to cut ties with a parent that raised me, cared for me, attended school functions, fixed toys, bought me my first phone. I was forced to chuck out priceless memories for my own sanity. I could not sit idly by and allow myself to endure one more second of lies or abuse. I had to stand up for myself for once in my life and I blocked most of my family. I blocked cousins, aunts, uncles, and godparents. I changed my phone number that I had since 6th grade. I gave no warning and disappeared from my family's lives. Do I have regrets? No. I would do it again if I had to because I am so much stronger than sitting there and taking it.

I will have one less parent at my college graduation, which I am fighting so hard to achieve. I will have one less parent at my wedding. My future children will have one less grandparent. I mope in these thoughts but then I have to remember the other side of things. I will not have an unsupportive parent at my graduation and instead will have those that were there every step of the way. I will lack someone who was toxic at my wedding. My future children will never have to face the same abusive, toxic situations that my parent put me through. It was a difficult decision to make but one that I know in my heart is worthwhile.

Cutting a family member out of your life is difficult enough but cutting a parent is unimaginable. However, no one deserves to go through abusive situations. It shouldn't matter who the person is; if someone is treating you less than you deserve to be treated, they have no use being in your life. You should always be your first priority. You should never have to endure something for the sake of others. I am here to tell you that you are more than that and that cutting out a family member could actually be the best thing for you, even if it's incredibly difficult. I did it and I'm still here. It made me realize who my real family was, and there will never be enough thank you's in the world to show my mother just how much I appreciate her.

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