About 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce. While it is estimated that the presence of children can prevent a divorce, and alternatively a lack of children can cause a divorce, about 40 percent of divorces affect families with children. My family is included in that statistic. When I was about four-years-old, my parents permanently separated and later were legally divorced. Since then, both my mom and my dad have been the custodial parent.
For the sake of this article, let's define a "traditional divorce." That's a divorce that ends relatively civil. One with a custodial parent and a non-custodial parent that pays child support whom the child spends weekends, or holidays if long distance, with. My situation falls under this description. I've experienced many variations of this "traditional divorce," whether my mom was the custodial parent and I spend weekends with my dad, or my dad was the custodial parent and I spent holidays with my mom.
It has always been difficult to explain to people that I only see my mom during breaks from school, or that I only visit my dad on the weekends. I've packed my bags and left home to visit the other parent more times than I can count. During weekends, I was never able to hang out with friends because that was time I spent with my parent. However, this was all completely normal to me. I, along with many other children of divorce, have completely normalized a situation that is literally a direct result of a failed marriage.
Another factor that affects my view on my familial situation is that I was such a young age when my parents separated. I don't remember the hardest part, so now I have a very cavalier opinion. People often show sympathy or regret at bringing it up after I explain to them that my parents are divorced. They don't understand; I have never been sad due to my parent's divorce. If anything, I'm thankful. If they felt that they were in a position that their marriage could not continue civilly, I'm glad that they did not stay together, for the sake of their children. I've never viewed my family as broken, split, or wrong, just kind of... different.
Now that I'm in college, I've learned first-hand that divorce is much less common in families with a higher socioeconomic status. This has presented me with many more challenges while explaining my situation. Along with sympathy, I often get a lot of surprised reactions. As if they didn't know that divorce actually happens, or if they were completely appalled that it hasn't completely ruined my life. I even had a professor tell me that she admired me for the hardships I overcame after telling her my story. Although I've grown up with many different perspectives and experiences because of it, I would hardly consider my parents' divorce a hardship.
