When I was a child, I always pictured myself marrying an amazing guy and having the classic, beautiful wedding in a big, Catholic church. I grew up with the illusion that this was normal, that this was the only way I could get married. It wasn't really something I was taught. I guess I just picked up the idea that I had to marry a man. I also didn't really know of any same sex couples, so I guess that also warped my views about marriage. I always wanted a wedding like those on television and in the movies. I wanted to be a beautiful princess bride marrying my handsome prince. I never thought that I could fall in love with, or even be attracted to, someone who did not identify as a male.
In middle school, I was introduced to people in same sex relationships, and I saw that there was no issue with it. I wanted to support people and their love for whoever made them happy. When I got into in high school, I began to realize that I could be attracted to girls, too. I also found that I can find myself longing after a person who did not identify as either gender, or identified as genderqueer or gender-fluid. After a lot of thinking, I realized that I would be attracted to a person because of their personality, not because of their gender. This was a really strange concept for me. I was very confused, and I really had no idea what I was doing. After a lot of research, and quite a bit of soul-searching, I realized that I most closely matched the definition of "pansexual".
Pansexual people do not fall in love with every person that walks past them. It's not like we have this master plan to love everyone and steal people's significant others. The main premise of pansexuality is falling in love with hearts, not parts. If we meet someone we are compatible with, it doesn't really matter how they identify or what they have below the belt. If we like someone, we like them for who who they are inside, not for who they love or what they were born as.
I love compassionate people. I love people who are romantic and loving. I love people who make me laugh until my stomach hurts. I love people I can hold intelligent conversations with. I love people who will surprise me. I love people I can bring home to my family. I love people I can connect with on a deep level. To me, it doesn't matter if the person these traits belong to is male, female, gender-fluid, transgender, or somewhere in between. It doesn't matter if they are gay, a lesbian, bisexual, or straight. I love who I love, and I wouldn't want it any other way.
