We all have our own ways of getting over someone.
Whether we eat a whole pan of brownies, stuff our faces with endless amounts of raw cookie dough, sob into his sweatshirt while watching “The Notebook,” or burn every item he has ever gotten us (OK, this may be a little extreme), most of us know what it is like to go through a breakup.
I, for example, have always found it incredibly pleasing and healing to do three things.
- Buy a great pair of heels that will make my favorite body part look even better—my calves.
- Log 15 miles on the bike, still trying to make those calves even more noticeable.
- Spend time with God in prayer (no this doesn’t help my calves, but I’m sure if I asked, He might help me out).
Let’s break this down.
Going through breakups, whether it be a romantic relationship, an exclusive relationship, a “talking” phase (whatever that really is nowadays), or even just a friendship--breaking up is rough. We all have our own ways of dealing with these emotions, however some happen to be more helpful in the long run.
No matter how much I really, really, really love buying a new pair of heels, I understand that it won’t fix my pain. Those heels will be adored, trust me, but they won’t heal the brokenness that I feel. See, when we spend money to “cure” our pains, what are we really doing? We are placing items at the center of our minds and hearts. We believe that materials will fill us in some way.
1 Timothy 6:7 says it well, “For we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world.”
All 347 pairs (over exaggeration, maybe) of my heels will not be attending Heaven with me. Why? Because they don’t provide me with true never-ending happiness like the beauty of Jesus Christ does. The same goes for other possessions that you might buy. Makeup. Sports equipment. New clothes. Books. These are all things that we enjoy having/using and they can help the healing process, but they are not the healing process. God is.
Exercise is another aspect that has slowly worked its way into my life recently. Biking has become a new found love and I can feel my heart begin to race with anticipation and excitement to reach a new goal as I walk to the KSAC each time. Exercise can be an extremely healthy coping mechanism, for multiple things, not just broken hearts. However, when exercise begins to become our main focus, we lose sight of God.
Proverbs 31:30 says, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Going to the gym can be beneficial if you go to glorify God, not those around you. I may really love my calves, but I should love them because I appreciate what they represent, a healthier lifestyle as well as a reminder of the many years of pageantry that I was apart of, rather than the way they might make others view me. Our beauty is fleeting, but our internal beauty is forever. Exercise can release the tension, hurt, and anger that we feel, but again it is not the healing process. God is.
Finally, number three. Prayer.
If you are like me, a Christian college student, you are constantly hearing how praying is the fix for every issue in life, from serious illnesses to when you are literally about to be sick because you forgot about that Lifespan test this morning. But the reality of it is being in constant conversation with God is the only way for us to find true healing and comfort.
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 states, “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
Within the past six months, I have experienced heartbreak due to the ending of a long relationship, close friends passing away, and the closure of the beginning of a “not so healthy relationship.” I need(ed) healing. I craved God and all that He could do. I found that, at first, I turned to material objects. I felt that by making my outward appearance better, I would find some sort of satisfaction in my life. For this reason, I began to lean on what I wore or looked like to determine my worth. Next, I began to exercise, a lot—to an extent that my friends didn’t know about, not even my roommate. I began dropping weight pretty fast until I realized that I was doing it for the wrong reasons. I was spending hours in the gym trying to sweat away all of the painful words that had been said to me, all of the moments of intimacy that I could never get back, and all of the images of the other girl that I couldn’t get out of my mind. I was looking for healing through obsessing about how many calories I burned or how many miles I could ride in 30 minutes.
Still, to my dismay, I had not found healing.
That is until I sat down and told God, “I’m ready.” He had been there with me the whole time- through the endless obsession over my appearance to the over-excursion I was putting my body under. He was waiting on me.
Isaiah 30:18 beautifully states, “The Lord waits for you to come to him so he can show you his love and compassion. For the Lord is a faithful God. Blessed are those who wait for him to help them.”
In the moments when I felt so alone, when I longed to be in someone’s arms, when I looked for healing in all of the wrong things, God was waiting. He was giving me signs to look at Him, but I was unaware. He was knocking on my heart, but I was ignoring Him. Still, He sat there and waited until I was ready to come to Him for healing.
The Lord is a beautiful, gracious, and healing Father. When you are in your darkest moments, afraid of what is to come, afraid of how to continue on, trust in Him. Give yourself fully to Him, no matter how scared you are. When I came to God and said that I was ready, He embraced me. He comforted me in my weakest moments and showed me the path that He was guiding me down.
The next time (yes, there will be a next time) your heart is breaking, don’t place too much importance on materials or on appearance. Sit and be with God. Find healing through the one who promises us eternal healing, our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
