The Painfully Honest Marketing Of 15 Products

You might be wondering what ads you can trust? The answer? Almost none!

Sep 08, 2015

The Painfully Honest Marketing Of 15 Products

We live in a consumer and capitalist driven world. Everywhere you look someone is trying to sell you their product. They need your business to profit. How do they try to get your money? By waving their product or service in front of your face anywhere they possibly can. They target you on the TV, internet, in stores, with posters, bus ads, newspapers, and social media. Essentially, anywhere you look someone is trying to market a product to you. Marketing firms, executives, companies, and individual workers are paid insane amounts of money just to deliver their product’s message right to your unsuspecting eyes. They use manipulation tactics to try to persuade you to purchase their product or service. This manipulation is sometimes blatant, while sometimes it’s subliminal with images, sounds, colors, etc.

Sometimes the persuasion works, sometimes it doesn’t. But one thing is for sure, the products you see advertised on a mass scale every day don’t always live up to their presented image.

Here are what 15 ads and what they would say if they were being completely, brutally honest about their product. (Blended in with a little satire, of course.)

1. MCDONALDS

And right after that?

2. Christian Mingle

“Can you not possibly stand abstinence any longer? Neither can we!”

And 3.Christian Mingle one more time because I couldn't resist.

“Local Girl Needs Some Jesus!”

4. TRESemmé

“Some professionals somewhere use this! We’re not sure which field they’re in, but we’re sure someone out there uses this and also happens to be a professional. Also, this is a wig.”

5. Bobbi Brown

"We photo shopped the shit out of this."

6. Trojan

“Get closer to your partner than ever when this barely-there-condom most certainly breaks!”

7. COMCAST

“Need to contact us? You better seize the workday because that is exactly how long it will take you to get through a phone call with us!”

8. DUREX

“Does your partner still not know how to go down on you? Try this and when that doesn’t work, maybe Google it.”

9. STARBUCKS

“Drink Starbucks and you’ll be wired…while you sit on the toilet for the rest of the night.”

10. TINDER

“Discover how shallow you truly are!”

11. BOTOX

“Have you tried to hold onto your youth so hard that it gave you MORE wrinkles? Try shoving needles in your face!”

12. BUDWEISER

“There you go buddy, just keep looking at the pretty girls and slowly hand us your money…almost there…GOT IT. Now drink this mediocre beer!”

13. TACO BELL

“We weren’t sure if we could possibly make our food any worse for your health. Then, we thought of this!”

14. DUNKIN DONUTS

“This tastes like reheated card board!"

15. And finally, this gem which gives us a reality check that honest marketing isn't always necessarily the most effective.

You might be wondering what ads you can trust? The answer? Almost none! When it comes to trusting food and beauty products, read labels. Other than that my fellow consumer-driver friends, use your head!

Happy shopping!

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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The Painfully Honest Marketing Of 15 Products

You might be wondering what ads you can trust? The answer? Almost none!

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The temperature may not be very Autumn-like, but these playlists sure are.

1. Southern Gothic

2. Autumn Acoustics

3. Autumn Leaves

4. Deep Dark Indie

5. Dreamy Fall

6. Halloween Hipster

7. Wanderlust

8. Your Favorite Coffeehouse

... Because life happens

1. Realizing there's no more toilet paper when it's already too late.

2. Making a cup of coffee in the morning and forgetting it in the car.

3. Pushing doors that say pull.

4. When you hear people chew.

5. When it's really quiet in a room and you hear that one person breathing like they just ran a marathon.

6. Grabbing a chocolate chip cookie, only to realize it's actually oatmeal raisin.

7. Getting comfortable in bed and then realizing you forgot to pee/turn off the light.

8. That one aunt/uncle that just always gives you that creepy vibe.

9. When your teacher makes you buy a textbook that you never even crack open.

10. Continuing to open and reopen the fridge until the food that you want magically makes its way in there.

11. Walking into a room and then automatically forgetting why you went in there.

12. People that drive without using their blinker.

13. When you have really slow wi-fi.

14. People who feel the need to scream into their phones as if the other person can't hear them.

15. The world's obsession with the Kardashian/Jenner families.

16. Advertisements before Youtube videos.

17. When people read over your shoulder.

18. A-holes that park in the handicapped spots when they, in fact, not handicapped.

19. People who cut in line.

20. The LIRR/MTA

21. Being stuck behind someone who is walking painfully slow.

22. When people smoke cigarettes right in front of the entrance to the building you have to walk into.

23. When boys think it's cool to treat girls like crap.

24. Guys that still go to high school parties even though they've been out of high school for years.

25. Celebrities that are obviously lip-syncing.

26. How you need a scissor to get the scissor out of its package.

27. When people text using that stupid "voice text" function.

28. Telling someone you can't hear them, so they use the same exact volume and just repeat what they said.

29. When someone gets in the shower right as you were about to get in the shower.

30. Saying "What?" for some reason, even though you heard what the person said.

31. When you're in a rush but the light is red.

32. Cashiers putting your change down on the counter instead of in your hand.

33. The people that go up to order food to the cashier but are still continuing their phone conversation.

34. That awkward time in the fall when it's freezing in the morning but stifling in the afternoon.

35. Emailing your professor a long winded paragraph about a problem you are having and they email back, "Sure."

36. Guys who put their car as their profile picture on Facebook.

37. Girls who have "X Years Young." in their Instagram bios.

38. Trying to find the beginning to a roll of tape.

39. When people drive your car and adjust your mirrors/seat.

40. People that talk during the movie.

41. People that decide to engage in conversation right in the middle of the hallway/sidewalk.

42. When someone says, "no offense," and then continues to say something offensive.

43. People that pop their significant others pimples.

44. Teacher's pets.

45. Going to the bathroom and someone goes into the stall right next to you.

46. When someone leaves your room and doesn't shut the door.

47. Political debates between two people who know nothing about politics.

48. When you get all ready to go out and your friend cancels plans.

49. People that drop their friends for their significant other.

50. People that don't like animals.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year!

Things to do in October.

1. Going to haunted houses with friends.

2. Going to Halloween parties with friends or families or both.

3. We all enjoy going to apple orchards to pick apples and to eat donuts with apple cider.

4. When you are younger or through high school, you go trick or treating in various of costumes going door to door saying "trick or treat" and you get candy or whatever they are giving you for Halloween.

5. Another fun part of October is to go to corn mazes which are sometimes fun and hard to do with friends and family.

6. Back in elementary school, we had Halloween Parties where homeroom parents were the ones who planned them for Halloween.

7. Another event that happens during the month of October is Halloween Nights at the Henry Ford in the evenings.

8. The types of candy and food that are popular during Halloween time are candy corn, caramel apples and many other fun foods.

9. I love Halloween and get to see all the interesting and fun costumes that the kids wear which is so amazing and awesome.

10. Listening and performing in Halloween concerts which are fun and get to dress up as well.

11. Carving pumpkins are always fun to carve because you get to do it with your family and friends.

A look at the treasure box, seeing what's hidden in the shadow of "Dreams," "Linger," and "Zombie"

10. “Still Can’t…” from “Everyone Else Is Doing It, So Why Can’t We?”

9. “How” from “Everyone Else Is Doing It, So Why Can’t We?”

8. “Twenty One” from “No Need To Argue”

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