Sometimes the hardest and most difficult thing for teens, or even adults for that matter to face in life is that, we outgrow people, things, places, or anything for that matter, and it's all a fact of life that has to come at some point or another. The hardest part is being able to see and realize when it is completely acceptable and understanding that you've outgrown something.
At some point in your life you will see it, it will hit you like a ton of bricks, you will wake up on morning and see it. You're not making the same choices you used to make when you were young and naive, and yet, the people (person) that surround you are. The hardest part you will come to realize is that at some point in life you will be walking away from those friends, because you have simply outgrown them. Sometimes, people grow and mature faster than their peers, and that is completely acceptable. Once upon a time we were young and stupid kids, sneaking out, skipping class, getting into trouble all the time. The best part of our childhood and young adult years is that we had out "group" or our absolute best friend with us the whole time we were making these choices, and it made us closer, the more trouble we got into together, the more spontaneous we acted, they were always there. However, at some point, everyone does grow up. We graduate, we go off to college, we get jobs and careers, and those silly spontaneous nights are a memory for the past. One day we are going to be at our 20 year anniversary for school, conversing with those old friends about all the crazy and stupid things we used to do, but in order to get to that point we have to see when it's time to walk away. There will always be those friends, the friends that are still out partying, or making even worse mistakes then you guys once did. Now here comes the hard part, when you look at yourself in the mirror in the morning, getting ready to head into work, you check facebook, snapchat, or even instagram, you see what they've been doing all night, how they just went to bed an hour ago and its 8 am on a wednesday, you've already distanced yourself, and even that, that was hard, because you used to be inspertale, spent everyday together, until they.. changed. THAT, that is the point, you've outgrown them, you've reached that point in your life that you finally see it, while you're working your 9-5 job, starting your life, your career, bettering yourself, they are out partying, getting into trouble, making choices you could never fathom doing. But here's the kicker, you'll distance yourself, and suddenly, that friend you used to tell you loved them to before hanging up the phone, or as they go out of the car, is not telling you you were never a good friend. Here's the thing, and here's the hardest thing, at that very point, you know it, and yet they don't, you've outgrown them, and they still have growing up to do, and distancing yourself was the smartest and best decision you could have made for yourself. So here's my advice for you when it comes to outgrowing friends, it may hurt to watch them make the choices they are making, but at some point you have to see when it's more important for you to grow and flourish in life, then it is to be worrying about them, No matter the age, you could be newly 18, fresh outta high school and having to say goodbye to the friend you've had for 2 years, or even 10, or you could be in your mid twenties, married, starting a family, with a friend you've had since elementary school is still out making terrible choices, and you don't feel comfortable surrounding yourself with there presents anymore.
Once you realize it's possible to outgrow your friends, you have to come to the realization it is completely possible to outgrow your relationship(s). Once upon a time your relationship was the epitome of happiness, but there can come a time where it's more work then it is happiness. Outgrowing your significant other is a little different however, there's different signs you have to see.
At some point you will wake up next to your significant other and realize it, you've outgrown them, or, you just aren't as happy as you once were. Whether your relationship has lasted 6 months or 6 years, it's all going to hurt the same, the hardest part will be learning to live without them, and finding new coping mechanisms then to go right to them with your problems and worries, and that one will take time, a lot of time. Some advice i once gave my friend, however it works pretty universal. "You have to see when you've grown past someone, when you've matured and they haven't, when you're able to be faithful and they aren't. May be even something as little like trying to further yourself in life but with a job you dislike. But clearly you still have the job because you know it'll get you where you need to be in the long run. You're an adult that is trying to date someone who still has a teenager mind set. At some point you need to see no matter how in love with them you think you are, that it is possible, and it is completely okay to outgrow someone. It's a fact of life. But instead you're not seeing that fact, you're seeing the blinding love that will eventually just hold you back more than I could ever truly try to explain to you. I don't say this to keep you guys apart, I say this because I know you, I know you well enough to know at some point you will see the truth in what I've said and what I'm saying and you'll snap and bring yourself down. All over one person, a person, who to me hasn't exactly proven their worth, time in and time out. I don't want to see you go down over love, it's hard. Trust me, but the hardest part about being an adult is seeing all the friends, or relationships, or anything that you've outgrown and having to change the way you see with world. At some point you'll realize you've definitely outgrown each other, but by then you'll be so far gone mentally and emotionally it'll take more effort to come back then it would to just push a little more and truly see it yourself." Sometimes a hard thing to do is to walk away, the even harder part is to cut all ties, because at some point you'll have to realize that being friends right after ending a relationship isn't possible, because it'll take time for those feelings to truly disappear. When it comes to walking away from a significant other compared to walking away from a friend there is a little more behind it, a friend will never have the connection you have to a significant other. There will be a time in your life will you have to purge yourself from others, take an overall look at your life, your decisions and choices you've made, and change your ways, because that just apart of growing up.
Sometimes growing up and making the adult decision to walk away from anything is harder than anything you'll ever have to do.
The thing is, whether you're the one doing the growing, or the one being outgrown, you have to realize it is always okay. Never get upset at someone for wanting to grow and mature, especially if it means they have to grow past you and walk away. The hardest thing for someone will always be to realize when they aren't a kid anymore, when they have to make adult choices and decisions, this doesn't mean you should be little them and be ashamed of them, this means you should allow the growth, grow yourself and reconnect when the time is right. No matter the age, never shame your friend, significant other, or even family, for finding the power and will in themselves to walk away, from anything.
