"Other People Have It Worse Than You Do."

"Other People Have It Worse Than You Do."

Rather than making others feel guilty about their feelings, start supporting those who need it.
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“You have nothing to be sad about, people have it so much worse than you do.” I have heard this statement far too many times and I think it’s time to emphasize just how hurtful and wrong it is.

First, let us take the concept of “people have it worse than you do” and apply it to another, pretty graphic situation. Two people just broke their legs in a soccer accident. However, one person managed to fracture their leg in three places while the other only fractured theirs in two places. Technically, Person A has it worse, so are you telling me Person B has no right to complain about their pain and suffering? I apologize for the disturbing example, but hopefully, it gets the message across. Technically, someone will always have it worse than you, but this does not, and I repeat, does NOT mean that you should feel guilty about being upset over your own circumstances.

You don’t always know what someone may be going through because many feel pressured to hide their problems. Just because the person seems to have a “perfect” life doesn’t mean that they aren’t struggling with something they are afraid to mention. It’s very possible that they have a personal issue. I mean, can you blame someone for not opening up? Society has become too damn judgmental and, in turn, has created a threatening and intimidating environment for those who need a helping hand.

For me, personally, it took years and years of effort to break the cycle of bottling up everything that was bothering me until I couldn’t handle it anymore. I cannot stress enough how detrimental this is to someone’s mental health. Before you go and tell someone they shouldn’t be upset, try to remember that you don’t know what happens behind closed doors.

Depression is cruel. I don’t know where the misconception that depression is “just a phase” came from, but it’s about time we end it. Biologically, depression occurs when there is a chemical imbalance or when an individual has a smaller hippocampus than others in the brain. With new research being conducted every day, I’m sure there is an abundance of other biological reasons as well, but for now, these are the most two well known. What happens in the brain is out of a person’s control, so telling someone to “cheer up” or to “just snap out of it” can actually be impossible to accomplish. Depression can affect absolutely anyone; the disease does not discriminate. It doesn’t matter if someone has good grades, a healthy family life, a happy relationship, or whatever else you can think of.

Depression, in my opinion, is one of the most brutal conditions because its victims are vulnerable and unable to prevent it from happening. Imagine waking up and immediately dreading having to get out of bed because you are so fatigued. Everything that once excited you has now lost its luster, further sending you into a melancholy state. As each day passes without feeling any better, you begin to lose hope that you’ll ever be able to pick yourself up. If you really want someone to feel better, try being sensitive and caring. Try offering nonjudgmental support. Try to end the stigma that causes depressed people to feel ashamed of their condition. Stop telling them that others have it worse because you are severely wounding their recovery processes.

So, next time you're about to tell someone that they have no reason to be upset, please consider the damage you will be causing.

Cover Image Credit: The Brooklyn Reader

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I Weigh Over 200 Lbs And You Can Catch Me In A Bikini This Summer

There is no magic number that determines who can wear a bikini and who cannot.
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It is about February every year when I realize that bikini season is approaching. I know a lot of people who feel this way, too. In pursuit of the perfect "summer body," more meals are prepped and more time is spent in the gym. Obviously, making healthier choices is a good thing! But here is a reminder that you do not have to have a flat stomach and abs to rock a bikini.

Since my first semester of college, I've weighed over 200 pounds. Sometimes way more, sometimes only a few pounds more, but I have not seen a weight starting with the number "1" since the beginning of my freshman year of college.

My weight has fluctuated, my health has fluctuated, and unfortunately, my confidence has fluctuated. But no matter what, I haven't allowed myself to give up wearing the things I want to wear to please the eyes of society. And you shouldn't, either.

I weigh over 200lbs in both of these photos. To me, (and probably to you), one photo looks better than the other one. But what remains the same is, regardless, I still chose to wear the bathing suit that made me feel beautiful, and I'm still smiling in both photos. Nobody has the right to tell you what you can and can't wear because of the way you look.

There is no magic number that equates to health. In the second photo (and the cover photo), I still weigh over 200 lbs. But I hit the gym daily, ate all around healthier and noticed differences not only on the scale but in my mood, my heart health, my skin and so many other areas. You are not unhealthy because you weigh over 200 lbs and you are not healthy because you weigh 125. And, you are not confined to certain clothing items because of it, either.

This summer, after gaining quite a bit of weight back during the second semester of my senior year, I look somewhere between those two photos. I am disappointed in myself, but ultimately still love my body and I'm proud of the motivation I have to get to where I want to be while having the confidence to still love myself where I am.

And if you think just because I look a little chubby that I won't be rocking a bikini this summer, you're out of your mind.

If YOU feel confident, and if YOU feel beautiful, don't mind what anybody else says. Rock that bikini and feel amazing doing it.

Cover Image Credit: Sara Petty

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I'm Motivated, But I Still Get Off Track Sometimes And That's OK

Every failure turns into a success.
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Whether you're working out and getting that body you've always wanted, trying to find a job, etc, staying motivated can be difficult.

Finding our motivation doesn't mean automatic success. We have these goals in our head but suddenly we lose interest in trying. It's like those negatives override the positives and it's hard to pull ourselves out of it.

You want to be fit but you just can't get yourself to the gym. You make excuses that you're tired, you don't feel good, or that you have nobody to go with. You want to find a job, but you can't because your resume isn't good enough. It's too much work, or you're just scared.

The struggle to stay motivated is something we all deal with, but I find that with the right people and with the right frame of mind, you can do it. If you really want something, you will go for it. It's OK to lose that motivation and to have feelings of giving up, but just remember to pick yourself back up again and keep going.

I become motivated in different ways. I have been reading this book called, "101 Secrets For Your Twenties" by Paul Angone and it's so relatable. It has actually inspired me to not give up and to know that other people are going through their ups and downs in their 20s just like I am. Some of the chapters are so spot on and specific that I think he's writing about me. If the author has gone through these things and has become successful, then I can do the same.

I look back at my accomplishments and what it took to get to where I am today and I'm so grateful. I use that as my motivation and whenever I get a little off track, I remind myself of where I am now, how I got here, and who I am as a person.

I'm a go-getter and I've always been the type of person to try and achieve anything my heart is set on. I wanted to go to FGCU and I did. I wanted to graduate and I did. I wanted to write a book and I did.

Those little voices that tell you "No, you can't do it" are lying.

Take those ugly words and turn them into something great.

Cover Image Credit: Unsplash-evestyle

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