If you can orgasm, damn that is just plain amazing!
However, if you are busy and spend little time in that department, you’re not alone. But you can learn to orgasm and fully let go all that tension our body withholds.
1. Understand what an orgasm does to your body.
Before going into the bedroom with your partner, try giving yourself an orgasm. Put some attention to where your body and mind goes right before you climax. Notice where you are touching, the pressure and which muscles tense up. Then you can re-create these movements during sex for an orgasm.
"Every woman is unique in what she needs to feel — and stay — in a sexual mind-set," says Susan Crain Bakos, author of "The Orgasm Bible." It could be candlelight and soft music, deep breathing, or even porn playing in the background." This is absolutely correct! You have to understand what type of atmosphere will get your juices flowing and what will benefit you to reach that climax.
2. Get in the mood
Don’t rush into sex. That is a big no-no. One way to ensure you are going to climax is to prep before the action starts. This can be by fantasizing what you want to occur or even by just feeling yourself. The body responds to these messages and it can create a source of lust, making that energy powerful during sex.
To many women, it is masturbation that creates this realm of excitement. For men, I think to ensure climax for you is to always make sure you are not ready to, for-lack-of-a-better-term, come so quickly but slow it down and ease into it. We all love that cherry on the top to burst.
3. Pay attention to your sex positions
This is essential. For a woman, probably being on top is the easiest way to get you off. This is because you are in control of the angle, depth, and speed—you know where it feels good and where you want it to touch, and can easily touch yourself. Grinding your pubic bone is just great for stimulation.
We can argue about doggie-style because not every man can reach the spot during that position. But it is said that it's the direct spot being touched while having sex in the position. Also, facing away from your partner could help you reach orgasm.
Flexing the muscles during intercourse also can help. It creates some sort of tension that allows for women, the clitoris to pop out and for men, the sensation of almost there but not there yet.
4. Focus on other parts during sex.
We forget to give TLC to other parts of the body. It wants love too, you know. This can be liking rubbing his chest or her breast, the thighs, neck, etc. These little things matter for the big O. So find your soft spot and use it for your benefits.
5. Lube it up, honey!
I got to say, I agree with lube. It helps reduce friction and always keeps it moist. We want to always be feeling good. This is just a way to not have pain. And for men out there, lube gives a nice slide for getting the job done.
6. Bring in a pinch hitter—a vibrator.
If need be, bring out the Rabbit. Vibrators and certain sex toys offer for more strokes and more pleasure. Don’t worry about your partner’s ego, some vibrators are so small it is impossible to be seen.
