As a kid, I remember coming home from school to my mom handing me a plate of Oreos and a cold glass of milk to go along with it. This small part of the day would get me through the hardships of elementary school (because I had no idea what was coming in middle school and did not cherish the beauty of coloring books) and has caused Oreos to become a sentimental food for me. So, when I show you this list of nasty, disgusting, abhorrent flavors, you will understand why I am so heated.
1. Rainbow "Shure, Bert!"
I'm so sorry, but whoever came up with this idea needs to be fired on the spot. In what way was this a good idea at all? I sincerely apologize if this is genuinely appetizing to you, but if it is, you probably need to get your head checked out. Oreos are meant to be chocolatey, creamy goodness, not fruity, sherbet weirdness. I've never tried these and I'm not planning on it in the near future.
2. Candy Corn
Hear me out, I see the appeal Oreo thinks it has with the whole seasonal advertising ploy. The problem is, though, that not a lot of people like candy corn to begin with. It's waxy and 100% sugar. How could this possibly good incorporated into an Oreo? It's not. It's actually one of the worst foods I've ever tasted in my life. When I first saw this I was hesitant, but, because I was in a festive mood, I decided to buy them despite my doubts. I ate half of one of these bad boys and wasted the entire rest of the box because they are absolutely inedible and obviously not meant for human consumption.
3. Berry Burst Ice Cream
I don't know what Oreo's deal is with ice cream flavors, but it obviously hasn't worked out for them. This looks absolutely nasty to me and I have no intention of ever putting anything like this into my mouth. Maybe their train-of-thought was that an ice cream flavor would be more enticing to consumers during the summer months, but if I want ice cream I will just buy some freaking ice cream, right?
4. Swedish Fish
I'm sorry, but why? Why is this even a thing? I don't know about you but Swedish Fish is one of those candies I get at Halloween and I just roll my eyes because it's just not good. Why does Oreo insist on putting some of the grossest candies in their cookies? Now, you know I'm a hardcore classic Oreo gal, but a Snickers or Reese's Oreo wouldn't be a half-bad idea. Actually, those are great ideas, but no, Oreo had to choose freaking Swedish Fish of all the possible candies out there. Honestly Oreo, if you are reading this, I'm looking for a job and would be more than happy to work for you.
This one just makes me want to cry. It's so wrong on so many levels and violates Oreos in so many ways. This was the first weird flavor I tasted and I recall it tasting like gum and straight sugar. Absolutely disgusting and unnecessary. Nobody needs this in their life and I have no idea what possessed Oreo to make these. Also, what is Oreo's obsession with fruity flavors? It obviously hasn't worked out so far so why do they keep pushing for these nasty flavors? If you could see my face right now, there are tears rolling down it because I'm recalling the flavor of these nasty cookies.
Overall, you see my disgust and hatred toward Oreo's newfound "creativity" regarding its flavors. My advice to you would be to stick to the classic flavors. Maybe even venture out to the "Double Stuf" Oreos if you're feeling a little crazy.