Options For Care Of Aging Family Members

Options For Care Of Aging Family Members

It can be a difficult conversation to start, but once you get them to open up, they can be very clear with their wishes
Pauline
Pauline
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Helping loved ones face the struggles of old age is a very difficult situation. First and foremost, you always want them to be safe and healthy, but you also want to let them stay in the familiar surroundings of the home they may have occupied for decades. It is an issue that involves both emotions and finances, making it twice as hard to deal with.

The best time to discuss this situation with aging parents or other loved ones is long before it’s necessary. It can be a difficult conversation to start, but once you get them to open up, they can be very clear with their wishes. From there, you must work together to formulate a plan to provide for their care as they need more assistance.

There are three general ways they can choose to receive care. The first would be to let them stay in their own home and provide care there. The second would be to move in with you or with other family members, and the third would be to make the transition into an assisted-living facility.

Each of those options has its relative advantages and disadvantages. You’ll need to weigh them with your family member before making a decision.

Staying At Home

This is often the most affordable option, even when 24-hour assistance is required. Should that be the case, most families will find the cost considerably lower to provide support staff than to move to a nursing home. It can be cheaper still if family members can set up a schedule to stay with the seniors, even if it’s just part of the time.

The home may require some modifications, which can be done by a construction pro. If mobility has declined, it may be simply a matter of building a few ramps, adding some handrails, and getting stair chair lifts installed.

With the support of a home health agency and volunteers, you can put off the move to a nursing home facility.

Staying With Family

This is the second-best choice for many families. If the senior can’t stay in their own home and meet his or her own ADLs or activities for daily living, another option is to stay with loved ones. This represents an acceptable compromise when staying in their own home isn’t possible.

However, this type of move still represents a big adjustment. The senior may have to move a great distance, creating concerns about moving and storing their belongings as well as about what to do with the house. If selling it is not an option, there will be some expense and effort involved in securing and maintaining it.

Otherwise, this can be a very positive option. The home may require some of the same modifications we noted earlier, but beyond that, the transition can be fairly smooth.

Assisted Living Or Skilled Nursing

This final option is best for seniors who require either some or full skilled health care around the clock. This could be as simple as assistance with bathing and eating, and additional physical therapy. A skilled nursing facility is a good option for patients who may be recovering from strokes or more serious injuries such as hip fractures. In some cases, it can also be a good long-term solution.

It is a step that takes some preparation. There are insurance and estate considerations to review, and the change in location can be traumatic for the senior. The family will also need to make plans about the patient’s home and belongings, especially since such facilities have limited space.

Making plans for the care of an aging family member can be a difficult and confusing process. It’s important to discuss options with these loved ones and get a DPOA in place before decisions must be made.

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
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Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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I Ended Up In A Family Group Chat...With All Of My Roommates

It was probably one of the most unexpected things that happened to me.

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I know, unbelievable, but hear me out. I didn't expect it at all either. I came to college feeling very reserved and sheltered in. I met my roommates, one who had a boyfriend. They were very very lovey-dovey to the point where it felt like witnessing a drama every passing moment. It was very cute.

Even though I wasn't very expressive myself, my roommates made sure to show me lots of love and give me support and comfort. Slowly, I warmed up to the others and before long we were having face mask nights, Uno challenges, reading and watching creepy trends, truth or dare, ramen nights, scary stories, and so much more. It felt like a family.

One day, when my roommate was being lovey-dovey with her boyfriend, I joked that they were like parents already. That joke then extended on to me and the other roommate being their children and our neighbors to being the grandma and aunt. It was a spontaneous sort of naming system but it came together really well and slowly, everything fell into place. Suddenly it became so established; we developed a family group chat and would occasionally address each other by our family titles. We even started playing into our roles more.

My roommate and her boyfriend started becoming more parental and taking care of my other roommate and I. I started becoming more carefree around my roommates and we would all stay in contact via our Snapchat group named "G.N.O.A.T" at first (greatest neighborhoods of all time) but changed to "family."

It was probably one of the most unexpected things that happened to me at the beginning of my college career but I'm also very grateful that it happened. Because of that, I was able to open up with my roommates and neighbors. I was able to be more honest and slowly feel a deeper kinship with everyone. Before I came to college, I didn't even know if I was going to have good terms with my neighbors but after this experience, I never expected my neighbors and roommates to label me as family, even if it's only a facetious name for now.

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