Are you an optimist or a pessimist?

I posed this question to a friend who responded, almost regretfully, that she is the glass-half-empty kind of a gal. While her response to her tendency came out rather reluctantly, I envied her.

I am an optimist. I assume the best about people, their intentions, and trust easily. When I share my optimistic views with people, they often say, "I wish I could be like that!" Yes, it is wonderful to see the world in such a positive light, but I am learning that my natural tendency to wish for the best has its drawbacks.

Optimists are surprised when things do not go the positive route. I will fully admit, even when things do not go the best -- a test, an interview, an experience, etc. -- I think that it will all still work swimmingly.

Somehow, the test I probably just got a C on will magically turn into an A. Isn't this thought process annoying? I think so, because I get disappointed when my initial feeling was correct. I knew something was wrong, but I chose to think otherwise. It doesn't mean optimists will not listen to their gut; they will, but sometimes it takes a little more convincing.

A bad guy? This feels wrong, but it may change. A toxic friend? Surely, they cannot be that terrible. We optimists will want to keep people around for too long even when it does not feel right. We want to give people the benefit of the doubt.

I think the root of optimist's problems is that we get wrapped up in what is comfortable. We reflect too much on what good there was, even if there is no more good (or just too little good) remaining. Optimists get sucked into this cycle of wanting the best and sticking with something hoping the good will eventually come back, even when sometimes it just won't, because we are comfortable. Comfort, while it sounds wonderful, is a dangerous thing. Comfort blinds us from acknowledging real problems because it is what we are used to. It feels right. And that is what optimists cling to.

Optimists need to adopt a healthy dose of skepticism. Since it is impossible to see the world in a negative light, we have to actively cast a bit of a shadow of a doubt. Without doing so, we latch on to parts of our lives that were initially comfortable and do not let go, as we deny the very thought that the initial happy feeling could be fleeting.

Sometimes things do change, and that is okay. But we need to recognize it in our own lives and respond accordingly to such fluctuations, even if they are not the outcome that we originally hoped for.