I would like to share love to all of my trans and non-binary siblings who are going home during this time of year. This is to all of you, whether or not you are out, whether or not your family has gotten a hold of using your true name and pronouns yet, and whether you are even still speaking to your family.

This time of year isn’t always easy for everyone, but it can get especially difficult for people like us. Those who we grew up with are struggling to use our names, forgetting our pronouns, asking questions we aren’t comfortable answering. Maybe the pressure to be around your family is great, but your family doesn’t want you around anymore. It hurts, and nothing I can say about it will stop it from hurting.

All I can say in any attempt to help is that it will not last forever. The pain you feel over your family not wanting you around, of them not remembering your pronouns or even understanding why they’re so important in the first place, will fade. Whatever it is causing you to hurt this holiday season, be it going home to trump supporting relatives, to talking to your mother who still won’t help you pay for your hormones, to listening to your grandmother misgender you again, know this will not be as hard as it is for as long as you think. Even if you’re looking forward to the holidays but know you will still be misgendered or have your birth name used, know that pain cannot stop you from enjoying your holiday overall. If you aren’t welcome at your family’s dinner table, find something enjoyable to do with your friends or even by yourself, and know there is nothing wrong with that. And know, most of all, there is nothing wrong with you.