I know you probably are wondering why I’m trying to contact you after our nasty and a bit hazy fallout. I get that you hate me now but I want you to understand why.

You see, we had some good times, like driving around in your car late at night ranting about boys, family, school, whatever it was and blasting music to our favorite songs. You introduced me to new things and new people and your family welcomed me in with open arms. I just want to say that I am so thankful for those things, for those memories, for you. You’re probably rolling your eyes right now thinking that I’m so full of crap. I’m not. Believe whatever you want about me, say how I am this horrible person, but that’s you just proving to everyone how much of a toxic person you were to me.

We did have a great friendship and we got really close, so close that I was able to open up to you about so many personal things and you did the same with me. But things changed. You became almost a completely different person. You let people walk all over you and instead of you standing up for yourself you took it out on me. When a new guy came into your life, sure you would come tell me everything about him, but I became second to you. You would ignore me and cancel plans to see this new guy. I was tossed aside like a used tissue and for awhile I overlooked that. I was there every time that new guy blew you off and found someone new. I was there for the tears and the frustration.

I gave you advice and tried my best to motivate you when you were down but after awhile it caught up with me. I focused so much time and energy on making sure you were happy that I started to forget about myself. Sure I still did my homework and got sleep, but mentally this took a toll on me. It was to the point that I felt like your slave rather than your best friend. You started to order me around and force me to go to places with you and hang out with people I didn’t want to hang out with. It was like every time I tried to have my voice heard you would get mad at me and make me feel bad for something I said. I’m not trying to say it was all about you and your problems, you were there for me but hardly.

You would push me to talk to certain guys that weren’t my type but yours. Whenever I was having a good day, you would call and complain and fill my good day with the negativity about your life. I would listen and give advice but you would just shoot it down and say there was no solution. I’m not trying to bash you or put you down or upset you, I just want you to understand what I was going through and the way you treated me sucked. I didn’t deserve to feel this way every day. I missed the old you, the one that would pick me up and we would drive around singing and dancing in your car.

I miss going on adventures with you and just having fun. I mean this is the time where we shouldn’t worry about our problems and just make memories. But when considering you, it was always drama. The last night I saw you was my breaking point. After then I realized how blind I had become. My family noticed how I wasn’t happy anymore. We just weren’t the same people anymore. We had grown apart and instead of admitting that, we would fight and be unhappy. I ended our friendship because we just weren’t the same. I had to focus on my happiness and my own path. If you want to hate me and tell people how horrible of a person I am then that is up to you, but that shows your character. I hope you do well in life. I hope you find an amazing guy that will treat you right and that you get your dream job. I wish nothing but the best for you. I just can’t force myself to be something that I’m not.

Sincerely,

Your old best friend.