Dear Fake Friend,

You know, at one point I thought the world of you. I thought that God had gave me you so I wouldn't be so lonely as I maneuvered through the days of college. I opened up to you and became more trustworthy of you than I should have. I was vulnerable and needed a friend, so I confided in you. I trusted you. I'm to blame for that, but I won't blame myself for the way you betrayed me.

I had this vision coming into college that I would find that "true friend" who I would remain friends with well after college. While I still hold hope for that vision, I know now that friend isn't you. The next time I meet a potential friend, it will be very hard for me to open up to them, and I can't help but blame you.

I had this fear that I wouldn't have friends to go eat dinner with, attend school events with, or just to go and do something with. Due to that fear, I jumped at the opportunity to befriend you. For awhile, everything was good and we made good memories. Then you changed up on me. You quit making an effort to hang out, and your replies became shorter and shorter. You began to develop a small attitude towards me. For awhile, I didn't even notice. But then, the truth came out about how you feel about me.

You knew I was sensitive. You also knew that I'm way too nice for my own good. I wear my heart on my sleeve, and you used that to your advantage. You saw my weaknesses and you used them to slowly cripple my confidence. You started rumors, and they eventually got back to me.

I was hurt. I went from being mad, to sad, to disappointed. I thought you were different. I thought we were friends. But then you said that we were never friends and that you only came around when you were bored. I knew then that our intentions were never the same. You needed entertainment, and I wanted a friend. You said that you felt sorry for me so that's why you stuck around. The truth is, I feel sorry for you. I feel sorry that you couldn't see what a true friend I really was. But then again, birds of a feather flock together. I realize now we are two different birds.

I deserve better than the life I led when we were so-called "friends." I deserve real friends who will always be there for me, not just when it's convenient to them. I'm disappointed that I let you into my life, and I made you a bigger part of my life then you made me in yours. When someone switches up out of nowhere like you did, it's disturbing. I never got an explanation as to why you did what you did. But it made me think. Perhaps I was never your friend. Perhaps you had been plotting this for awhile now. Perhaps you feigned interest in our friendship. I was just a topic of conversation for you.

You loved to talk about yourself. You barely listened to what I had to say, unless it was some "juicy" topic you could run back and tell others. Otherwise, the topic always went back to you. You talked about your accomplishments, but when I started talking about mine, you changed the topic on me. You quit coming around to see me, even though I attempted to make plans and include you.

The hardest part about the whole ordeal is that it seemed so real at first. But it all slowly went downhill. When we last spoke, you claimed you were "real". You then proceeded to call me names, and make fun of me. "Real" people don't bully, and they don't call people out of their names. They don't make fun of someone to the point that they cry. "Real" friends don't judge, and they don't dig up skeletons from the past.

You really worked me over, huh? Taking all that time to get to know me and make me comfortable in the friendship. You gave me a false sense of security. I opened up to you and you turned around and stabbed me in the back. I was never perfect, and neither were you. Still, our friendship meant something to me. It was more to me than the game of chess you were playing.

My real friends have supported me throughout this whole ordeal. They gave me advice, and shoulders to cry on. I guess it takes situations such as these for people to see who their true friends are, and who really cares. I appreciate everything that they have done to help me through this. They know who they are, so no need to mention names. They helped me make adjustments to my life, and to see that I don't need somebody like you in my life.

You had me fooled. It was as though I were temporarily blinded, because you didn't seem like the type to betray me. Now I see your true colors. You weren't ever loyal to me. You were loyal to your need of me. When that need changed, so did you. I don't regret my past, but I do regret the time I wasted on you. I won't hold a grudge, I just no longer have room for you in my life.

I've had a lot of experience with fake friends, fake roommates, and fake family. A little too much experience. I guess that it's all just a part of life and growing up. To be honest, I don't know what I did to you to make you turn on me, but I apologize. I believe God allows you to meet people in life as blessings or lessons. You, along with many others, were lessons for me. But thank you for allowing me to take off my blindfold and see who my true friends were. You actually did me a favor by walking away.

While I'm busy making something of myself, chasing my dreams, and doing great things, I hope you take this time to find yourself. I hope you realize that you have to love yourself before you can build and maintain friendships and relationships with others.

I know you'll probably never even read this, but this letter is more for my sake anyways. I can express myself through pen and paper better than I ever could by way of mouth. What's funny is that I used to think I needed you. In reality, it was you who needed me. You needed someone to show what its like to meet a genuine person and lose them. In the end, it's your loss. I could be nice and say that I will always be here for you, but I'd rather just forget about it. Though my emotions are still raw, I forgive you for everything you did to me. Just don't contact me in the future when you see how successful I am. I can't change the people around me, but I can change the people around me.

Sincerely,

Somebody You Used To Know.