To the friends that have miraculously reappeared as soon as we came back home for the summer, lose my number. If you couldn't ask me how I was doing when we were a few hours apart, don't even think about asking me how I'm doing now. College is difficult, especially your freshman year which is why I was heart broken to find out you were too busy to keep in touch. Don't get me wrong, I had research papers and outlines being thrown at me left and right, I had math tests that made me want to pull my hair out, and let's not forget all the awkward table for 1 lunch dates I had alone, and yet I never stopped thinking about you. I constantly tried to reach out and make sure your adjustment was a little easier than mine, but I never heard back.
From your Instagram and Twitter I could tell that you were happy, or at least very good at making it look like you were, but I was miserable. I felt alone and having to make friends was hard when all I could think about were my best friends from high school. We always promised we would hang out every chance we got, we made plans for me to visit your campus and for you to visit mine. Our visits started to die and with them went our friendship. I felt replaced and forgotten, and you were always too busy to talk. You got involved on your campus and I got involved in mine. I met an amazing group of people who became my backbone.
I was finally beginning to enjoy myself and yet I couldn't shake the overwhelming feeling of being alone. I felt like nobody understood me, nobody knew me and I didn't even recognize myself. I somehow made it through my first year, dreading the summer because I knew nothing would be the same. Now we're all back but we aren't better. I want to thank you for all the years we shared, I will never forget our inside jokes, our dinner dates, our squad nights, our late drives, our adventures around town and most importantly, I will never forget the laughs we shared. We're old enough to go our separate ways without making it difficult. I won't pretend it isn't hard, seeing you with everyone we once loved. I won't say it'll be easy, to wish you the best while watching you be just as happy without me as you were with me.
Friends are easy to make but hard to keep, it's not you but I have to do this for me. I can't surround myself with friends who come around when and only when its convenient for them. I have to learn to be a friend to myself before I can be a friend to anyone else. Have a good summer and with that, a good life.
