I have spent a long time recovering from a relationship that will probably haunt me for the rest of my life. Though it was some of the worst times in my life and the hardest to get through, I have never been happier than I was when I realized it was never my fault. This is an open letter to my abusive ex.
Dear Ex,
I know that it has been a long time since we have talked, and I want to keep it that way. We have no connection anymore. I have blocked you from my life as much as I can. However, I still remember what you did to me every day. Though I am forever changed because of you and sometimes it isn't in the best way, I know now that you have made me stronger. It may have taken me some time, but I recognize what a bad relationship is, and that when someone says they are sorry and they will change but never do, it means you should walk away. I have lost many friends because of you. I also lost a lot of my self-worth during the years I was with you, and I am trying my hardest to get that back.
It has been years since we talked, but I can still hear your voice in the back of my head every once in a while and it is never our good times. Those good times are long gone and were very few. I remember the moments when you told me I wasn’t good enough, and when you made me feel like I had to do things I never wanted to and so much more. I remember how insecure you made me and the things you would tell me while we were in public. Because of you I still question if anyone really likes me, and I probably will for the rest of my life.
I thought I loved you but I was just dependent on you. It is sad that I no longer care about you at all, but you have pushed me to this point. However, this letter isn’t to bash you or remind you that I no longer love you (if I ever did in the first place). This letter is to thank you. Thank you for making me this strong person I am. You didn't break me; you made me strong and confident to stand up for myself, because I have learned from what you have done to me. I have learned that you were horrible but that I can live without you even though you told me I couldn’t. I learned that my dreams are valid and I can reach them even though you told me I can’t. Your voice will always be in the back of my head telling me I can’t, but I will always push myself to show that voice that I can. There may be nights I cry and nights I feel like your words are true, but I am always reminded the friends who took me away from you, those friends that you hated, that I am better than everything you have ever said to me. Better than anything you thought I was. Honestly, I am better than you. So, thank you for showing me that I can pick myself up from my lowest moments and that I do not need anyone, especially you.
Sincerely,
Your Ex (who is doing a lot better without you)
