Dear Ex,
I swore I would never write this bullshit. The amount of criticism I have spat about 'bogus open letters' and people who need to just 'get over that asshole' is infinite. Yet here I am, typing away about how I'm still not over it.
Congrats. You busted the douchebag heart I built a cage around. Not like a mouse cage. Like a jail. A maximum security prison, run by a corporation like they are working on in Orange is the New Black. I built my own version of Alcatraz so nobody could ever get in again. But you built a boat and paddled on up.
So thank you. Thanks for coming back into my life and making my passion for never catching feelings wane. Thank you for reinvigorating my passion for running. Because my ultimate power song is our song, but I'll never be able to sprint past how much our situation affected me.
I wonder if you'll read this. You'll chuckle, think about how this is so classic. But I still love you. And I really hate you. It's the ultimate dichotomy in my grey matter. How can I still be sad about you? If I could tell you how you're a diamond in a sea of coal one more time-would you care?
Or how when you smile the entire world fades away like an out of focus picture, and all I can see is you being happy.
We had some good times. Plenty of bad times. Remember staring at the stars? And thinking that if we could just freeze that moment, everything would be perfect.
Perfection is a silly word though. Who wants to live in an ideal world? We certainly weren't perfect. I have a pension for mean sarcasm and you couldn't forget the bad times we had and mistakes we both made. Or I made. We made. I don't really know.
Alas, my dearest ex,
I hope you are well. I'm mad. Upset. Frustrated. Yet optimistic for you. Good luck with everything. I want to see you happy, with the hottest girl in the world. I hope she makes you laugh, and dances to Tegan and Sara like there is no tomorrow. Because when I was with you, there didn't need to be a tomorrow. All that mattered was today, this hour, this minute, this second-that I was with you.
I hope she makes you laugh as much as I did. Because laughter can cure anything, including a bitter taste after reading a letter from the girl's heart you broke so many months ago.
Sincerely,
Kara Rubashkin
