To my ex-girlfriend,
I don't regret meeting you even though that's the last thing I told you. I still care and I have come to realize I will always care about you.
When we first met I said "I fell in love with your dead eyes." Its because those eyes lead to a inner void which I myself had. Thats the thing about relationships most people fall in love because of the good qualities in one another I feel that we fell in love because we both shared the void that was so similar. I knew how you felt because I also felt the same way and it was nice to find someone like me who was broken. As time went on it became clear that our voids was causing issues between us, my insecurities, emotional abuse, and controlling took effect on me. While your disconnection to the world and your emotions isolated yourself from everything and lead you to cheat. I can see why we had to break up and I don't regret the relationship we had. I do regret the way it ended on both sides, allowing our voids to hurt each other the way we did.
I learned a lot from you and meeting you changed the course of my life forever. I always wanted to end our relationship with "love and respect" and I tried to show that to you but "Dr. Jekell" always came out to rear his ugly head to stop that. This is the way it had to be though for me to realize that my void does not define me. That I can change and evolve past my demons that haunted me while I was with you, that I can get mine and show myself and everyone my potential, the potential you saw in me. I want to get rid of this void and make a true genuine connection with someone based on love and understanding not obsession or possession.
I hope you learned a lot from me as well. To let go of the expectations around you and to be in the moment of life to find yourself. To be honest with yourself and others around you even though there might be consequences in your actions but you face them with integrity and resoluteness because it came from YOU the person who you are trying to find not hide. That to love anyone or seek love must come from yourself first before you can find it. To be more empathetic to your family as they are the strongest support system you have. Whatever you learned from me even I hope it benefited you in some way.
Our love much like ourselves was flawed but even just like ourselves our flaws don't define us. In the midst of our flaws our love shined through the void even if it was only for a few days or weeks until we were wrapped up back into our void's. I wont let my void ever win again as much as its apart of me I will beat it and I hope you do the same. Thank you for everything... pudge.
With love,
Your Crazy EX-Boyfriend
